I’ve stated on many occasions that North Miami Beach is the epicenter of the psycho-magnet known as South Florida. My theory continues to be proven scientifically on an almost daily basis.
For example, a pretty good rule of thumb to follow is if you don’t want people to think you’re crazy, then don’t do crazy shit.
Now, I’m certainly no expert on public relations, but it sure seems to me that the North Miami Beach Police Department doesn’t need any more bad press. I’m just saying.
Don’t hold your breath around here because just when you think it’s safe to admit you live in this city (especially when we’re right next door to North Miami – the Corruption Capital of South Florida), someone usually does something so bizarre and so incredibly stupid that the press releases seem to write themselves.
As reported by my favorite local news, Just One Station Channel 7 (Lynn Martinez and Craig Stevens, you totally rock!), two employees from our esteemed Police Department decided to use Santeria, an ancient Afro-Cuban religion, on our City Manager Lyndon Bonner, in what appears to be an attempt to attract pigeons into his office (http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21006032241160/2-fired-after-trying-to-cast-spell-on-city-official/).
Apparently, bird seed can be used to “cast spells” on people you don’t like. Bird seed? Wow! Who knew?
Seems to me that the recently retired Mad Max, a/k/a The Calico Cop from Hell (https://www.votersopinion.com/?p=801), wasn’t the only member of the PD who was bat shit crazy. Or should I say, bird shit crazy?
An expert on religion, UM Professor Michelle Moldanado, stated, “Ultimately, the city manager really doesn’t have anything to worry about, because in Santeria, you can’t just spread bird seed and make the supernatural do what you want it to do.”
Whew! I’m glad she cleared that up for us. I’m also glad she proved how truly useful a liberal arts education is these days. I’m just saying.
Mr. Bonner can rest easy knowing that the only thing bird seed will attract are pigeons. I bet that’s a load off his mind.
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
A reader sent in a tip for Mr. Bonner. For the low price of $50, a Rabbi will remove the hex! (http://yourjewishnews.com/jv1338.aspx#.TtXarm-6sts.mailto). He even takes credit cards. Such a deal!
“Radical” Santeria?
😉
The fired cop and employee were idiots for planning to throw seeds to bring bad luck, but the City Manager was even more of an idiot for firing the 2 employees . What is the fireable offense, denying a pigeon its food? No crime or job neglience was committed. Darcee better get together with the Finance / Budget Department to pay back these 2 employees retroactive, instead of taking it to arbitration.
Ricky, I’m not sure of the details, but I’m betting there’s more to this story than Channel 7 is able to report. They weren’t able to obtain any official comments from the manager or the police department, as a press release was never issued. I’m not saying there was or wasn’t reasonable cause to fire the employees, but I think we can’t make a judgement yet based on what little information we have.
Anything radical should not be tolerated. Now we have Radical Santeria being practiced at City Hall? It may sound funny in this day and age, but if someone is trying to use something to harm someone, it is a danger that should not be taken lightly.
Tell officer Capote #0254 and his buddies in blue that. And about the North Miami Beach Police department ” Law Enforcement Code of Ethics” too.
Right Mubarak! Really, no religion should be practiced by any employee at NMB while being paid with government money. Religion has no place in the workplace, especially when it is government. If the police officer wants to make big bucks, then she should be out doing her job and not using work time to conspire to plant bird seed. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!
Did I read correctly in the Herald that the officer did this because she could not attend union protests because of her work and school schedule??? Well, she is paid to work. And, is NMB paying her tuition? I would like to know that. Certainly, NMB is not paying her to practice Santeria on the job! I am disappointed that the police chief did not recommend that she be terminated.
No wonder the city is going broke. Freggin good pensions and salary to practice Santeria! This REALLY makes our police department look like crapola. It is also unfortunate for the good officers that we have that the reputation of the department seems to be spiraling way on down!
Practicing religion is all well and good. Being radical in your practices should not be tolerated. Killing in the name of a religion or your deity is radical. Intentions of trying to bring harm to someone using a religion, is radical.
Today it may be bird seed. Tomorrow a moron may use rat poison in the coffee pot. Should a person be given a chance to use something until they achieve their goal?
Pay them back retroactively for practicing religion on the job? Does conspiring to spread bird seeds in the City Manager’s office keep our citizens safe?
Darcee, take it to arbitration. Heck, I would take this one to court!
Nothing to arbitrate. The intention if the actions were true, was to cause harm. Are we going to wait until actual harm was caused before action taken? What if the bird seeds were laced with poison? Then we blame a religion? Or we blame poisoned bird seeds used under the pretext of a religion?
Uhhh, even if the seeds were poisoned it doesnt mean that the City Manager was going to eat them. We all know he’s fat, but I don’t think he is into bird seed.
That was so not nice! That’s the same thing the cops did to me – when they disagreed with my opinion, they critiqued my hair and wardrobe. As if that had anything to do with the topic at hand. C’mon, Ricky, I don’t expect you to stoop to that level. That was just mean for no reason.
Antrax? Remember anyone? You only had to touch it….or breathe it possibly. Poison comes in various degrees it can be contracted and kill.
There are many true stories out there where spouses hire under cover cops to kill their significant other. The intended perpetrators are arrested pronto. They do not go into arbitration, or their partner is killed first before action is taken.
That reminds me, I have to stop eating or drinking anything over at City Hall.
We went from the talking of bird seeds into the topic of killing their significant others. Kazan, you are an incoherent idiot.
And rickyticky, everyone knows you’re a cop, an equally incoherent defender of anyone in blue, no matter how obviously stupid, ignorant and completely unqualified for the badge they may be. Go post your garbage on leoaffairs where it belongs.
Hi Stephanie:
I havent been able to respond to this last comment since I was out of town, yet I didnt know that your Blog Administrator had changed his / her name to “Guano for Brains” since apparently now I can’t post my “so-called garbage” here. Number 1, I’m not a cop, I live in Skylake and what I do for a living is nobodys business. Tell Muriel, Mary, or Mail Order Bride Allyson that NMB does not below to them only. Number 2, I like to read this blog better than leoaffairs. Im not interested in posting there. Number 3 the City Manager made a grave, hasty decision in firing Officer Torrez. If she gets a good labor attorney, she has a good case, and not for the religious aspect of it. And finally, Number 4, I apologize for calling the City Manager “fat” in a previous blog. He is actually morbibly obese……. : )
My blog administrator has not commented on this, and is not “Guano for Brains.” When he comments, he uses his real name, as do I. Neither of us have banned you from this website. Not yet, anyway LOL!
FYI, you are waaaaaay off base about Muriel, Mary and Allison. None of them have EVER posted a comment on this website (that I can remember). That was also NOT NICE what you said about Allison (and you really touched a nerve there). What is up with you, Ricky????
Whether or not you agree with the manager’s decision to fire Torres, he is not fat and absolutely NOT obese. Believe me, I have known obese people, and he’s not even close! (You touched another nerve with me again – are you reading my diary?)
Ricky, I don’t know why you’re being so mean all of a sudden, since I don’t think you have ever slammed people like you’re doing now. I don’t even know who you are other than by your comments here. By the same token, you don’t know who some of the other people here are, either. I have allowed everyone here to post anonymously, but as one of the administrators, I do know most of the people who comment by their email addresses, so I can tell you that you are way off base with these latest barbs. None of the individuals you mentioned are even remotely involved in this conversation. Okay?
I’m the only one other than Steph that’s an administrator on this blog. I don’t hide from anyone, tell it like it is, and only comment occasionally. Anytime you see a comment or blog post from me you can bet the farm that it’s authored by “admin”!
Stephanie, I was being sarcastic about you or your Adm. going by the name of “Guano for Brains”. The reason I made that comment was because “Guano for Brains” called me a cop, who is incoherent in my opinion of a previous comment. That is why I lashed out, but not at you, I’m in love with you. I’m just waiting for Carmen to get out of the picture so that I can make my move… : ) A person cannot take the negativity of some of these posters seriously, life is too short to be constantly stressed out and mad. By the way, no matter what anybody says, I like your hair the way it is.
You do not want to be in love with me. I’m trouble. I’m also very much married. Sorry to break your heart 🙂
In all seriousness, it’s easy to mistake you for a cop since you always seem to defend them when someone attacks them. If you say you’re not a cop, I believe you. Innocent until proven guilty. But, you better be telling the truth LOL!
Defend them? I called both the cop and the employee idiots for planning such an absurd thing. I give everybody their due justice. And even though Officer Torrez was fired, I still believe she has a good case to get her job back. She did not get to commit the offense in question. Conduct unbecoming???? Come on…. She might not come back though, but the City will pay her out in order to keep her from coming back. That we can bet on. On another note, one person I will never agree with is Kazan. His rants don’t make sense here, and even less sense when I watch him speak at the Council meetings on my computer. His bride has toned down her rethoric, maybe he should follow her lead…. ; )