Myron’s Big (House) Adventure

Now that I’ve had time to finish my lunch (I was a good girl, I ended up eating the salad instead of chocolate), I had time to really review the press release about Myron Rosner’s arrest.  There are a few interesting things I want to point out.

The presser states, “In one instance, personal advertising messages were paid for from funds donated to the Myron Rosner Campaign Account which constitutes felony Grand Theft from the campaign account.”  Turns out that had something to do with Myron’s freaking pre-campaign fake Happy Holiday bus benches that littered the North Miami Beach landscape from November, 2010 through January, 2011 and drove me absolutely CRAZY!

These are the very same fake Happy Holiday benches that miraculously turned into campaign bus benches on or about February 1, 2011 at the official start of campaign season.  I had been trying to find out how Myron paid for those fake Happy Holiday bus bench ads, but had no luck.  I simply assumed that he paid for them out of his own pocket since the signs sported a disclaimer that said, “Independent expenditure not paid with City Funds.”  What I didn’t know, and what reporter David Ovalle wrote in his updated Miami Herald article Former North Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner arrested, was that Myron “paid $450 to R&D [Printing] from his campaign account” for that advertising, hence the FELONY GRAND THEFT charge.  NICE WORK, GUYS!

But, wait!  There’s MORE!

In addition, those fake Happy Holiday bus bench ads Myron commissioned from Martin Outdoor Media were supposed to be taken down on January 15, 2011, but “that Rosner coerced the company into keeping the bus bench ads in place – for free – for an additional month,” thereby screwing Martin out of “an additional $1,389.39.”  We knew he was a bully, now it’s just been confirmed!

But, wait!  There’s MORE!

The Herald further reported, “With his campaign money, Rosner later bought $4,500 in legitimate political bus bench ads, but never reported it and later insisted that the company reimburse him the money to one of his political action committees, the warrant said.  Martin told investigators that “he has never been ‘shaken down like this’” and that he feared Rosner because of his mayoral position and because his wife is a judge.”

I KNEW IT!  What a dirtbag!  We always knew he was using his wife’s position as a CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE, and now we have proof!

Kudos definitely go to the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office, the Miami-Dade Police Department Public Corruption Investigation Bureau, and yes, even the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics.

I do, however, have a beef with my good buddy, Joseph M. Centorino, Executive Director of the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics and Public Trust.  At the end of the press release, Joe was quoted as saying, “I am proud of the work our investigators put into this case. It involved a lot of painstaking research and legwork to assemble the pieces necessary to prove it up, and that would not have occurred without teamwork among the three offices involved.”

Oh, really, Joe?  The Gadfly had nothing to do with it?  SERIOUSLY?

If it weren’t for MY “painstaking research and legwork” this case, which you didn’t want to deal with in the first place when you were a State Attorney, WOULD NEVER HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY!  A little credit where it’s due, Joe.  Dude, that was so uncool.

Luckily, the Miami New Times and the Miami Herald both had the decency to mention me.  Thanks, guys.

First, Tim Elfrink of the Miami New Times published a statement given by Myron’s CRIMINAL ATTORNEY, Ben Keuhne:

“Myron Rosner has long been a dedicated community activist and public official. He has served his community honorably as Mayor and Council Member for the City of North Miami Beach. His life has been focused on the betterment of his community within the allowable limits of the law. As a political candidate, he has always attempted to follow the complex requirements of Election and Campaign Finance Laws. He is confident he has done his best to comply with the law, and any errors that resulted were neither intentional nor harmful. Just as he has put his public official life behind him, he expects to be able to move beyond this current misunderstanding. He thanks the community for the support shown for him.”

I almost choked on my coffee when I read that he “served his community honorably!”  Yeah, right!  He bullied everyone who lived and worked in the city.  But, I guess his high priced hooker, oops, I mean lawyer, was simply paid to say that.

Then Miami Herald reporter, David Ovalle, Tweeted at about noon today that “Former N. Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner arrested today on allegations of campaign fraud.”  An hour later he Tweeted, “Rosner’s wife is Miami-Dade Judge Sarah Zabel. Explains why Justice Polston (@flcourts) assigned a Broward judge to review arrest warrant.”

That’s good news since no Miami-Dade prosecutor could possibly get a fair trial what with Myron’s wife, CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE SARAH ZABEL, sitting on a bench in this county.

So, folks, there you have it.  The whole sordid story of Myron’s arrest.  I wonder if he’ll bond out today or spend the night in the hoosegow.  Hope he gets a cellmate with a sense of humor.  I’m just saying.

Meanwhile, I prepared some artwork, AT NO CHARGE, for Myron’s 2012 Happy Holidays bus bench ads.  Let me know what you think.

Greetings from the Big House!

Lovely mug shot, eh?  (Courtesy of the Miami-Dade County Inmate Profile System.)

And now I get chocolate!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

Print Friendly, PDF & Email


  1. Mike Casey says:

    Delicious; what is it four felony counts and five misdemeanors, this could amount to some serious time in the old cross bar hotel; plus a stiff fine. But alas the powers that be will undoubtedly negotiate a plea bargain and reduce everything down to the misdemeanor level.

    We can’t let that happen since we need at least one felony guilty verdict or a guilty plea. That leaves him open to further sanctions from ICE. He could then be denaturalized and his sorry ass shipped back to Canada; that is if they will have him. Baring ICE activity a felony conviction will strip him of his right to vote and bar him from holding any public office for life; unless some idiot governor in the future pardons him.

    Oh how sweet it is; finally that pile of barnyard scatology has to pay the piper.


    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      Can they really denaturalize a citizen? For real? That doesn’t sound legal. But, it sure would be nice.

      Myron can try to run, but one thing’s for sure: He’ll never eat lunch in this town again! 😆


      1. Mike Casey says:

        Oh we sure can and not only that we have on several occasions in the past; particularly with mafia cretins. We denaturalized and deported a number of those creatures who had immigrated to the U.S. Today we haven’t been able to do that since what we have now are mafioso who were born here and hence are native born and immune to this procedure.

        It isn’t just the mafia that was targeted either, several other numbskulls have had this done to them when they violated their oath of citizenship. Currently we have a few sitting down there on Krohme Ave awaiting this process


  2. mytwosense says:

    What a crock of OMFG bull! He has always attempted to follow the complex requirements of Election and Campaign Finance Laws??? As if these rules are so complicated? It’s not rocket science, especially since he’s run for office how many times? TWO YEARS APART? Who forgets this crap?

    He is confident he has done his best to comply with the law, OMFG ROTFLMFAO! and any errors that resulted were neither intentional nor harmful. Oh yeah baby. All Myron knows how to do is “shake” people down and he does it with every ounce of intent he can dig out of his soul. I don’t care how good his attorney is, that is the most asinine set of quotes anyone defending dirt bag Myron could ever regurgitate.

    Nice way to start the Jewish New Year, PUTZ. You’ll have plenty of sins to atone for this coming holiday.


  3. PattyPan says:

    The most aggravating part of the whole story is WE KNEW! A mere child pointed out how odd it was that the Mayor’s “Holiday Greetings” didn’t come from the entire council. NMB citizens openly talked about the retaliatory code violation citations he issued with abandon. City Hall workers, cloaked in the shadows of his evil empire, lived in daily fear of retribution for imagined slights. So, yes, WE KNEW, thank God that you and your insiders had the tenacity (and stomach) to see it it to the end. It is indeed a sweet day.


  4. Thomas says:

    Steph, what about corrupting the NMBch Building Dept by illegally using employees of the Citizens of NMB to persecute his political enemies? Anyway, you are my HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  5. […] have been a little too quiet around here since North Miami Beach EX-mayor Myron Rosner got his ass arrested a couple weeks ago.  Boy, that was fun, […]


  6. […] trip to the Miami-Dade County Jail.  Perhaps Andre will soon star in his own production similar to Myron’s Big (House) Adventure.  Wouldn’t that be […]


  7. […] is scheduled to be arraigned today for charges related to campaign finance fraud that led to his arrest on September 20, 2012.  I’m still waiting for information as to the time of the arraignment […]


  8. […] In typical Myron Rosner fashion, the EX-mayor of North Miami Beach’s long awaited trial for several FELONIES and misdemeanors regarding his alleged campaign finance fraud, including the FELONY of grand theft in the third […]


  9. […] finally busted and the arrest made local headlines, Joe gave a press release, which I reported in Myron’s Big (House) Adventure, stating, “I am proud of the work our investigators put into this case. It involved a lot of […]


  10. […] have been a little too quiet around here since North Miami Beach EX-mayor Myron Rosner got his ass arrested a couple weeks ago.  Boy, that was fun, […]


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Translate »