The Daily Double Dargenson: CERTIFIABLE!

CertifiedAs she did on Monday, Miami Herald reporter Paradise Afshar Tweeted the proceedings of today’s hearing in Judge Darrin Gayles’ courtroom in the case of Beth Spiegel vs. Yvenoline Dargenson.  The entire hearing took ten minutes, encapsulated into five Tweets.

Court started at approximately 10:30 am, and Paradise Tweeted:

Paradise Afshar Tweet 1
Then she Tweeted:

Paradise Afshar Tweet 2
Okay, so let me get this straight.  Dargie’s attorney, Frank Wolland had the freaking chutzpah to play the Constitution Card?  Oh, yeah, he did.

Obviously, the Race Card didn’t work.

I don’t know about you folks, but if every two bit hustler of an attorney won a case by claiming that a law is unconstitutional, we’d have complete and utter anarchy.  Judges must be pretty sick of hearing such nonsense.  But it also goes to show you how desperate people take desperate measures.  Frank must have been pretty desperate by that point.

If Frank “I’m No Rocket Scientist” Wolland’s claim that our city’s Charter is unconstitutional wasn’t insane enough, he then tried to tell the judge that the decision the Court made on Monday IMPACTED THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION AND HE WANTED DO-OVERS!

Paradise Afshar Tweet 3
WTF?

If I remember correctly (and, for the record, yes, I do), Judge Gayles ruled that the North Miami Beach election would go on as planned yesterday, but that the city was not allowed to certify the election results until he made his final ruling today.

I’d love for Frank to try to explain with a straight face what impact he thinks that decision had on yesterday’s election.  Does he really believe his own fiction?

I’m not sure about you, folks, but I seriously doubt that any one of the 1,148 people who voted for Beth Spiegel said to themselves before casting their ballot, “OMFG!  The City Clerk can’t certify the results of the election until the judge gives the go ahead, so maybe I’d better vote for Beth Spiegel instead of the LIAR from MIRAMAR.”

You know, just in case.

Think about that for one second, Frank, and then tell me that wasn’t up there with some of your most Stupid Ass Comments.

Trust me, it was.

As for Frank’s request for a special election, see my comment above about Stupid Ass Comments.  Add, “ditto.”

Actual Attorney Joseph S. Geller, as opposed to Clown Attorney Frank, calmly reminded the Court why they were there by stating that the election was already over.

Paradise Afshar Tweet 4

Not that the Court needed any reminding since it’s already been established that Judge Gayles knows exactly what’s going on in this case.  He’s one sharp cookie, that dude.  The Eleventh Judicial Circuit sure could use more of his ilk and less of the Sarah Zabel type.  Just saying.

In any event, as evidenced by Paradise Afshar’s final Tweet, His Honor gave Wolland a smack up side the head and gave our Clerk a green light to certify the results.

Paradise Afshar Tweet 5

The very dramatic 2013 North Miami Beach City Council election season has now come to a close.  The results are officially CERTIFIABLE.

And so is Frank Wolland, Esquire.

Your meds

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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3 thoughts on “The Daily Double Dargenson: CERTIFIABLE!

  1. There is no credible scientific evidence that lawyers are blessed with higher intelligence than those of us who exist in fly over country. Some are and some aren’t; intelligent that is. And, Wolland appears to belong to the less than normally endowed category. I find it hard to believe he graduated from law school much less pass the bar exam.

    Where did he get his degree and that license; did he win a lottery or just pull them out of a grab bag??? Now I know that under our legal system any defendant is entitled to a vigorous but credible defense but this on was risible from the get go!

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