I’m feeling really silly today.  It’s a lot better than the pity party I hosted for myself the other night.  And yet somehow, a good three hour cry is strangely satisfying.  Puffy eyes and all.

Then the Colts lost yesterday.  I almost broke down all over again until I remembered, DUH!, it’s only a football game, and that after the Super Bowl we’re all undefeated.

Today is a new day and I’m ready to take on the world.  Or, at least laugh my ass off.

Someone close to me is fond of saying that he’s a wealth of useless information.  This dude is like a freaking encyclopedia.  He can reel off facts and figures in answer to any question you could possibly come up with.  Now that’s talent!

In the “good old days,” I was also able to retain stuff, useless and otherwise.  I was a force to be reckoned with (and the most annoying person you ever met) in a round of Trivial Pursuit.  But these days, my brain is like a sieve when it comes to retaining things I should remember.  So I spend my spare time on the internet looking for useless information that might one day come in handy.  You never know, right?

The best things I come across are the ones that make me laugh.  I’m not talking about a snicker or a giggle.  I’m talking about a good, old fashioned belly laugh.  The kind that makes me laugh so hard that tears roll down my face until I literally can’t speak without cracking up all over again.  Those are the moments that make life, which can truly be a pain in the ass sometimes (no, make that most of the time), worth living.

Years ago, an old girlfriend and I used to go to Hallmark card stores just to read the humor cards out loud to each other and laugh hysterically in the aisles until we got strange looks from shoppers.  (I know … get a life, right?)  Once after a ten minute session of cracking each other up, Lori called me over to look at a mini poster of Garfield the Cat standing in front of a refrigerator holding a plate of chocolate cake, with the caption, “Looks like salad to me!”  That was it.  We literally could not contain our laughter any longer and had to be escorted out of the store.  For years, every time we went out to eat and ordered dessert, we’d look at each other and say, “Looks like salad to me,” and the hysteria would start all over again.

Lori and I have lost touch over the years, but I’m sure that wherever she is, she thinks of that day each time she encounters a slice of chocolate cake.  I know that whenever I have dessert (which is daily), it always “Looks like salad to me.”

Since I love humor and I love to laugh (almost as much as I love dessert), I thought it would be nice if I shared some of the funniest things I’ve come across in my travels on the highway of useless information.  I hope you find them as hilarious as I do.  Of course, humor is subjective, so you might not think they’re all that funny.  If that’s the case, oh well, maybe it’s just me.  Go find your own amusement.  I’m having fun.

In the meantime, welcome to my world.

I don’t know about you, folks, but I feel better now.  If you’re not tickled by any of these…

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the W̶e̶a̶l̶t̶h̶ Laughs”