Even though I’m slowly getting used to the peace and quite of Davie, every once in a while I start missing life in North Miami Beach.
Well, except for maybe the sound of gunfire.
I have yet to attend a Town Council meeting in Davie, but I’m betting that there’s no Phyllis here, either.
Watching the recent NMB budget meeting gently reminded me that Councilwoman Smith is definitely one of a kind.
Now, I know I’ve been trying to go easy on Phyllis. She really has made an effort to think first before opening her mouth.
I really haven’t had any reason to poke fun at her.
I’m not sure if the recent exposé of Phyllis’ Montana License Plate scandal has made her a bissel meshugah, but at hour 1:23:57, she started out with one of her famously disjointed ramblings, and ended up totally unhinged. She opened by saying, “The thing I learned that is so imperative is when you are running the ship, you have to have confidence in the people that are working the ship.”
I immediately cringed, had an oy vey face palm moment, and thought, “Oh, Phyllis! Stop! You’ve been so good for so long. So coherent. So … normal! Don’t do this! Zip it NOW!”
But, it was too late. The damage was done. Once Phyllis let her guard down, she truly couldn’t help herself.
By the time she blurted out – not once, but twice, “Do not not take care of the people that are doing the work on the street,” I knew Phyllis had lost it.
At hour 1:27:30, she had a complete meltdown for a full minute, crying about “my kids in Washington Park,” and that the bathrooms needed fixing.
Phyllis was in such rare form (not to mention election mode), I couldn’t help but feel a little homesick for Crazy Town.
In order to alleviate that condition, I immediately went to the fridge, made myself a bowl of espresso ice cream topped with a scoop of Tahitian vanilla bean gelato, and logged on to Pinterest for distraction.
Sugar therapy worked.
Although, I did feel a bit of remorse for picking on Phyllis.
Then I came across a fabulous recipe for an Apology Cake, and I just knew I had to bake it for her.
Unfortunately, that train of thought made me all nostalgic again for the good old days.
I started missing all my NMB peeps.
Even the ones I didn’t like all that much.
Soon enough, though, missing North Miami Beach started feeling a lot like missing the mid-1980s.
Oh, those mullets were so freaking attractive, right?
After taking a virtual walk down that memory lane, I quickly came to my senses.
I told myself that my decision to move to Davie was a good thing.
I also reminded myself that after years of wanting to escape NMB, my search was finally over.
And in case I ever again forget where I came from, I hung this sign on my fridge.
Because, well, you know how it is with us sometimes.
“Spreading the Wealth”