A Very Special NMPD Blue’s Clues Episode

Blue's_CluesHappy Monday, boys and girls!  It’s time to play Blue’s Clues!

Wait, what?

You’ve never heard of Blue’s Clues?

OMG!  You are so missing out!  It’s the coolest show ever!

In every episode, a mystery is presented by the host named Steve to an audience of preschoolers, who try to solve the puzzle before the show ends.

During the show, a dog named Blue leaves three clues marked by a big blue paw print.

Whenever the paw print appears on the set, the kids in the audience scream, “A CLUE!  A CLUE!”

Steve and the kids use Blue’s Clues to solve the puzzle.  At the end of the episode, the answer is revealed.

YAY!

Blues Clues

Alrighty then, boys and girls.  Let’s try to solve a real life Blue’s Clues puzzle!

On March 5, 2015, North Miami Police Chief Leonard Burgess sent a mysterious email to City Manager Aleem Ghany and two of his staff members.  The Chief copied the Mayor and Council.

There’s no mystery why Chief Burgess sent out that email.  Aside from defending himself against complaints about North Miami’s high crime rate under his watch, Chief Burgess also felt compelled to address an intimation that he was involved in a sexual harassment complaint.

As we all know by now, Chief Leonard Burgess was indeed the subject of a sexual harassment complaint.

In his email, however, he denied any “involvement in this SH incident … investigated by MDPA IA Bureau.”

That part is true.  The Miami-Dade Police Department’s Internal Affairs bureau didn’t investigate Burgess.

That was a job for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement!

I know.

Semantics.

Whatever.

The real mystery here is why three individuals, who have absolutely nothing to do with the Police Department, were included in the Chief’s email in the first place.

Ooh, a challenge!

Okay, kids.  Let’s get out our Handy Dandy Notebooks and solve the puzzle using the three (appropriately named) Blue’s Clues!

A Blue's Clue

Our first mission is to decipher why City Clerk Michael Etienne was copied with the Chief’s email.  Let’s start with some background.

North Miami is one of only six or seven cities in the state of Florida, and the only one in Miami-Dade County, where the city clerk is an elected position.  Typically, the clerk is one of three employees hired by a city’s commission or council.  The other two are the city manager and the city attorney.

According to the Charter of the City of North Miami, in order to run for the office of city clerk, one doesn’t need any special qualifications other than to be a registered voter and a North Miami resident.

No specialized training or certification is required.

As such, pretty much any Joe Schmo off the street can potentially occupy this seat.

Needless to say, this is a dangerous policy on so many levels.

For one thing, I have no idea if North Miami City Clerk Michael Etienne is a Certified Municipal Clerk, as defined by the Florida Association of City Clerks.  I will assume he’s not, however, since he doesn’t list such a certification in his biography on the city’s website.

Even worse, this elected official answers to no one at City Hall.

He has the ability to run amok.

Unsupervised and unchecked.

And he usually does.

As such, Michael Etienne does and says pretty much what he wants without recourse.

Sure, he could be voted out, but no one ever challenges him.  With a nice paycheck and a job that requires a minimum amount of time or expertise in pretty much anything, chances are Michael Etienne owns this seat for life.

Seat

By including Michael Etienne in the email chain, the Chief recruited him as the head cheerleader for Team Burgess.

Michael Etienne quickly jumped to the defense of his new BFF by responding with an email of his own, and clicking “reply all.”

In this love letter to the Chief, Michael also gushed, “Elected colleagues and Aleem, take it from me, WE HAVE AN AWESOME CHIEF!”

XOXO!  MUAH!

He then exclaimed his “expertise” in crime statistics and wrote, “I can attest that our crime rate index is low compared to our counter parts (taking average income of the residents into account and other socio-economic stats).”

To paraphrase Michael’s Fuzzy Crime Stat Math Logic, “North Miami’s crime rate is the same as that of other cities our size … unless you take into account that our residents are poorer than theirs.”

That’s like saying, “I’ve never been the subject of a sexual harassment complaint with the county … unless you count the one filed with the FDLE.”

Like the political animals they are, the Chief and the Clerk both excel at double speak and sleight of hand chicanery.

It's a trick

Yes, folks, it’s a trick.  They are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

Typical politicians both.

Another recipient of Chief Burgess’ email is North Miami Budget Director Arthur Sorey.

Let’s put on our thinking caps and ask ourselves, “Why would the city’s Budget Director have anything to do with Police Department crime statistics?”

At first glimpse, there appears to be no method behind the Chief’s madness.  However, last week I received a Blue’s Clue in an email!

A letter

An anonymous tipster wrote, “Budget Director Arthur “Duke” Sorey has been approached by Scott Galvin in replacing City Manger Aleem Ghany.”

Hmmm, isn’t that  interesting?

By now, it’s common knowledge that City Manager Aleem Ghany has been under pressure to fire Chief Burgess.

It stands to reason that it would be in the Chief’s best interest to get rid of Aleem before that happens.

If that’s the case, and if the info leaked by my “source” is correct (I have good reason to believe it’s credible), then it sure looks like Councilman Scott Galvin and Police Chief Leonard Burgess are conspiring to replace Aleem Ghany with Arthur “Duke” Sorey for City Manager.

Aha!  The plot thickens!

I knew there was more than just Fuzzy Math going on behind the scenes at the PD!

Just saying.

The end is near

The third mysterious recipient of the Chief’s email is Derrick Corker, the Parks and Recreation Manager.

This is one clue that has me completely stymied.  I can’t even begin to fathom why the Parks & Rec Manager has any interest whatsoever in the Police Department.

This is where I need your help, boys and girls.

If any of you can solve the mystery of the third Blue’s Clue, feel free to keep those anonymous tips coming!

Mailbox

I’ll be waiting right here by the mailbox!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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22 Comments

  1. Sounds Familiar says:

    Now that sounds familiar. Isn’t that how Aleem Ghany became the City Manager himself? Love this game

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  2. KoLaw says:

    Your stories are getting more and more ridiculous.

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    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      That’s part of my very special charm, Sweet Cheeks.

      If you don’t like my blogs, don’t read them. DUH!

      I’m having fun and that’s all that matters.

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    2. Koolaid says:

      Kolaw, very interesting moniker you’ve chosen. I wonder, oh I wonder, what this keen interest is that you have in Chief Burgess. I’d sure like to play a game of Blues Clues about that. I’m guessing you’re not officially in the playground but you want in. Why would that be, hmmm KoLaw?

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      1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

        See? My “ridiculousness” pays off! Oh, I so love playing Blue’s Clues! Don’t you?

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      2. Stephanie Kienzle says:

        Koolaid, I’ve been doing some light digging. You’re right that Kolaw’s interest in the Chief appears to be something more than just in passing.

        When I posted “North Miami’s Liar in Chief?” KoLaw wrote, “…It looks to me that Chief Burgess pissed someone off and they are using you and these blogs as an outlet. That’s fine, you and your dozen of readers can go ahead and have a Chief Burgess bashing party. There are hundreds of others who support, respect, and admire the job that he’s doing. Many of you wouldn’t last two weeks in that position.”

        Methinks she doth protest too much!

        So do my “dozen of readers,” LOL!

        It sure looks to me that someone’s sweet on Lenny. Cheesecake-sweet, if you know what I mean.

        [Wink-Wink]

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  3. Flaxseed Oil says:

    So let me get this straight? Galvin votes in Ghany as CM skipping over the Assistant CM. Ghany feels like he owes Galvin. Galvin supports Juriga. Juriga controls the PD through Burgess. Juriga needs Burgess. Ghany can’t fire Burgess because he feels like he owes Galvin. Yet, Galvin has approached Sorey to be CM to get rid of Ghany. So Burgess and Juriga and Galvin have conspired? Am I right? Why Sorey?

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    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      Yah, sounds like an evil triumvirate conspiracy, right? Don’t have all the answers yet. Still digging. Will keep y’all posted on my progress. 😉

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    2. WD-40 says:

      If Galvin knew what Juriga is all about he wouldn’t support him for dog catcher. Juriga controls the PD because Burgess couldnt make a decision to save his life. Juriga wants to make sure everyone thinks he’s running the place so that he can say “See, you should make me the chief” even though Juriga isn’t anywhere near as qualified as he’s trying to bamboozle the council into believing he is.

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  4. Guest 2 says:

    That is because Burgess, Sorey, and Corker are BFF’s. Not surprising that he copies them in his emails. Dig a little more on Sorey and Corker, see what you find… I am sure it will be interesting.

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    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      I did receive a very interesting email from an extremely reliable source that pointed me in exactly the same direction. I eas absolutely speechless – speechless, I tell you! – when I read that email. Damn, there’s so much dirt to dig through. But I’ve always said, if you turn over enough rocks, something is bound to slither out from under one of them. Now, where’s my shovel?

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  5. Cheesecake Talk says:

    All this cheesecake talk is getting me hungry. Reminds me of my favorite TV show. Anyone heard from KoLaw?

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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  6. Koolaid says:

    What’s this, no comment from Kolaw? Hmm, I wonder why we’re hearing crickets? Maybe Kolaw is off somewhere baking cookies or better yet

    a CHEESECAKE.

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  7. […] the heat was turned up, though, Chief Lenny rallied the troops to defend his […]

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  8. […] clerks in the State of Florida, Michael Etienne is a power-hungry, incorrigible loose cannon, who answers to no one.   It could technically be argued, however, that the North Miami City Clerk answers to the […]

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  9. […] response to Councilman Galvin, Interim City Manager Arthur Sorey quickly jumped in to cover for his compadre Chief Lenny by repeating the mantra that “The City of North Miami Police Department does not receive […]

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  10. […] I already mentioned in an earlier blog, Chief Burgess had enlisted Arthur Sorey’s support of his “North Miami is […]

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  11. […] should be noted that Brian Andrews’ contract was also negotiated and signed by Team Lenny Co-Captains, City Clerk Michael Etienne and Interim City Manager Arthur Sorey.  While Michael Etienne famously […]

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  12. […] such hopeful is none other than Chief Lenny’s old buddy and current Interim City Manager Arthur Sorey, who is apparently willing to risk his heretofore […]

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  13. […] Despite the incompetence, corruption and cronyism running rampant under the “leadership” of North Miami Police Chief Leonard Burgess, he’s been protected by an equally incompetent city manager, Aleem Ghany, and more recently by his buddy/partner in crime, the outgoing interim city manager, Arthur Sorey. […]

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  14. […] Even weirder, both of Sorey and Corker also happen to be members of Chief Lenny’s inner circle. […]

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  15. What? says:

    So Galvin is a big supporter of Juriga and Sorey? And here I thought he was a smart man and the only councilmember that really cared about the residents.

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