This morning I received the oddest tweet. Mysteriously, this tweet has since disappeared from Twitter, but here’s how it appeared on my phone:
Intrigued, I clicked on the website and discovered a “blog” by one Laura Smith, who describes herself as “Mother of 2, Business Owner and Concerned Resident of North Miami Beach (NMB).”
I decided to contact Ms. Smith to see if she had anything valuable to say. She wrote back the following:
We carried the conversation over to her Google+ page, as follows:
In the interest of full disclosure, I did respond to her first comment by replying that I would look into the matter. I later deleted my comment once I realized who this woman really is and why she’s involving herself in the North Miami Beach election.
I obviously became suspicious after reading her comment about Mayor George Vallejo, in which she claimed that he was involved in “Frantz Pierre’s AB game.” As if George would give Frantzie the time of day, much less buy into any of his illegal absentee ballot scams.
Meanwhile, while I was “chatting” with Ms. Laura Smith, little did I know that she had already written and planned to letter-bomb an email to every email address she had access to. Here’s a copy for your entertainment:
Laura Smith’s conspiracy is so outside the scope of reality, it’s beyond laughable.
Even if I hadn’t spoken to the Mayor today, which I most certainly did, I already knew that there is no way in freaking hell he’d support Frantz Pierre OR his puppet Paule Villard (or anyone else Frantzie recruits). Frantz might be Phyllis Smith’s useful idiot, but NO ONE ON THAT DAIS CAN STAND TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE SPORK WEASEL! EVER!
And one more thing.
Does Phyllis actually believe that George would even consider supporting her? IS SHE FREAKING SERIOUS?
Phyllis has been nothing but a thorn in the side of the Mayor, most of her colleagues, and practically anyone who lives in, near or within 50 miles of North Miami Beach.
Does Phyllis really not know that she’s the laughing stock of all of Miami-Dade County? Is it possible she’s that freaking clueless?
Even up in Tallahassee, when folks find out that she’s an elected official, they’re aghast that people actually voted her into office. They shake their heads and wonder if the water is contaminated down here. Or laced with LSD or something.
Yeah, Phyllis makes that kind of an impression on people!
As for the rest of Laura Smith’s nonsensical letter, George has already pledged to support to his colleague Marlen Martell’s re-election.
And, lastly, the Mayor is certainly not involved in L’il Frantzie P’s wet dream fantasies of a “Haitian takeover.” Haitians want nothing to do with Frantz Pierre.
According to a recent study, four out five Haitians would rather be waterboarded than even stand next to Frantz Pierre, who always reeks of moth balls.
Seriously. I’m not making this up. It’s putrid!
So, nah. The Mayor working with The P Man? Never gonna happen!
By this point, I figured that Laura “No Relation My Ass” Smith was completely ignorant of North Miami Beach politics, or she was deliberately spreading false rumors on behalf of someone. But, who? The plot, as they say, thickened.
Little did Ms. Laura Smith know, but I have ways of digging up stuff out about people that they probably would prefer to keep buried.
So I got my Handy Dandy Shovel and went to work.
The first part was easy.
Laura Smith’s Twitter page @SOSNMB was only opened yesterday. Her first tweet was:
— Laura Smith (@SOSNMB) April 15, 2015
Obviously, someone wanted to attack Phyllis’ opponent, Bruce Lamberto.
Then I went to Laura Smith’s Google+ page, which was also only opened yesterday, and clicked on her picture.
Did these dummies really think I wouldn’t find them out?
But, wait, it gets better!
Turns out the second part was just as easy, too.
Does this woman look familiar?
Not only is Laura Smith NOT who she says she is … “Mother of 2, Business Owner and Concerned Resident of North Miami Beach (NMB).”
But she’s actually Laura Smith, Coldwell Banker Real Estate Agent …
IN PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA!
Laura Smith, you are nothing but a FRAUD!
And an amateur to boot.
I’d tell you to get outta town, but, you’re already there.
On another note, check out this beautiful and brilliant attack ad that hit NMB mailboxes today!
“Spreading the Wealth”