Nice try, Phyllis. Or should I say Susie?

This morning I received the oddest tweet.  Mysteriously, this tweet has since disappeared from Twitter, but here’s how it appeared on my phone:

tweetIntrigued, I clicked on the website and discovered a “blog” by one Laura Smith, who describes herself as “Mother of 2, Business Owner and Concerned Resident of North Miami Beach (NMB).”

I decided to contact Ms. Smith to see if she had anything valuable to say.  She wrote back the following:

Laura Smith EmailWTF?

We carried the conversation over to her Google+ page, as follows:

Google+ ConvoIn the interest of full disclosure, I did respond to her first comment by replying that I would look into the matter.  I later deleted my comment once I realized who this woman really is and why she’s involving herself in the North Miami Beach election.

I obviously became suspicious after reading her comment about Mayor George Vallejo, in which she claimed that he was involved in “Frantz Pierre’s AB game.”  As if George would give Frantzie the time of day, much less buy into any of his illegal absentee ballot scams.

Meanwhile, while I was “chatting” with Ms. Laura Smith, little did I know that she had already written and planned to letter-bomb an email to every email address she had access to.  Here’s a copy for your entertainment:

Laura Smith Email

Laura Smith’s conspiracy is so outside the scope of reality, it’s beyond laughable.

Even if I hadn’t spoken to the Mayor today, which I most certainly did, I already knew that there is no way in freaking hell he’d support Frantz Pierre OR  his puppet Paule Villard (or anyone else Frantzie recruits).  Frantz might be Phyllis Smith’s useful idiot, but NO ONE ON THAT DAIS CAN STAND TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE SPORK WEASEL!  EVER!

And one more thing.

Does Phyllis actually believe that George would even consider supporting her?  IS SHE FREAKING SERIOUS?

Phyllis has been nothing but a thorn in the side of the Mayor, most of her colleagues, and practically anyone who lives in, near or within 50 miles of North Miami Beach.

Does Phyllis really not know that she’s the laughing stock of all of Miami-Dade County?  Is it possible she’s that freaking clueless?

Even up in Tallahassee, when folks find out that she’s an elected official, they’re aghast that people actually voted her into office.  They shake their heads and wonder if the water is contaminated down here.  Or laced with LSD or something.

Yeah, Phyllis makes that  kind of an impression on people!

As for the rest of Laura Smith’s nonsensical letter, George has already pledged to support to his colleague Marlen Martell’s re-election.

And, lastly, the Mayor is certainly not involved in L’il Frantzie P’s wet dream fantasies of a “Haitian takeover.”  Haitians want nothing to do with Frantz Pierre.

According to a recent study, four out five Haitians would rather be waterboarded than even stand next to Frantz Pierre, who always reeks of moth balls.

Seriously.  I’m not making this up.  It’s putrid!

So, nah.  The Mayor working with The P Man?  Never gonna happen!

By this point, I figured that Laura “No Relation My Ass” Smith was completely ignorant of North Miami Beach politics, or she was deliberately spreading false rumors on behalf of someone.  But, who?  The plot, as they say, thickened.

Little did Ms. Laura Smith know, but I have ways of digging up stuff out about people that they probably would prefer to keep buried.

So I got my Handy Dandy Shovel and went to work.

The first part was easy.

Laura Smith’s Twitter page @SOSNMB was only opened yesterday.  Her first tweet was:

Obviously, someone wanted to attack Phyllis’ opponent, Bruce Lamberto.

Then I went to Laura Smith’s Google+ page, which was also only opened yesterday, and clicked on her picture.

Laura Smith Google+The first image that pops up is her profile picture.

Laura Smith Profile Pic 1At the bottom, I saw this was the first of two pictures, so I clicked on the arrow pointing to the right to see the second one.

Laura Smith Profile Pic 2Well, what do you know?  It’s none other than PHYLLIS SMITH’S DAUGHTER, SUSIE!

Did these dummies really think I wouldn’t find them out?

But, wait, it gets better!

Turns out the second part was just as easy, too.

Does this woman look familiar?

Laura Smith AgentIt should.  IT’S THE SAME WOMAN!

Not only is Laura Smith NOT who she says she is … “Mother of 2, Business Owner and Concerned Resident of North Miami Beach (NMB).”

But she’s actually Laura Smith, Coldwell Banker Real Estate Agent

IN PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA!

Laura Smith Coldwell Banker RealtorBUSTED!

Laura Smith, you are nothing but a FRAUD!

And an amateur to boot.

I’d tell you to get outta town, but, you’re already there.

On another note, check out this beautiful and brilliant attack ad that hit NMB mailboxes today!

Phyllis-Taxes_Page_1Phyllis-Taxes_Page_2Hey, Mitch Edelstein.  THAT’S  how ya do it!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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19 thoughts on “Nice try, Phyllis. Or should I say Susie?

    1. That’s up to the voters of North Miami Beach. I don’t live there anymore. There’s just so much I can do!

  1. Great job digging. The truth always
    Come out. Smith and Pierre are not the people we want
    representing us residents. residents of NMB get
    out and vote !!!!!

  2. I suppose Susie Smith learned her lying from Mama. After all, that is one thing the councilwoman is really good at.

    Susie Smith is quite the amateur is she not? To hide behind another person’s name and picture is plain nuts. I wonder if the real Laura Smith knows about this? As you stated, the story is so convoluted I almost spit my ice cream out reading it. It’s crazy what a child will do for their mother even when the mother, Councilwoman Smith takes such advantage of Susie. Did you notice on the CTR that she only paid Susie $ 100.00 for sweating like a pig pushing signs in yards with her dad? $ 100.00! My lord, how sad. While a parent shouldn’t have to pay their kid at all, if you are going to pay them, then PAY THEM, what else is she doing with her money than destroying our city with all of those shocking yellow signs. Enough!

    1. I still can’t believe she tried to pull off such an amateur stunt. Her biggest mistake was trying to blame George for everything from backing the Spork Weasel (I spit out my coffee in laughter when I read that) to concerning himself with “the next mayor to replace him.”

      She must have confused him with the other George … you know, the one who’s fault everything is, even though he’s been out of office since 2008.

      Whoever she is, I hope she’s better at selling houses than she is selling conspiracy theories. This one wasn’t even as good as the “Teco Slaughter” conspiracy theory, where suicidal bald eagles refused to fly away in the face of charging bulldozers.

      OMG! I just figured it out! Laura Smith is really RR in drag!

  3. It’s a good thing you received that flyer today because you now have an up-to-date photo of Phyllis to use for your future blogs of her, showing her in all her hill-billy glory.

    Only thing missing from the photo is the first three versus of “Deliverance”

  4. Someone needs to check for “drugs” her in digestive system. Only a person “using” would be stupid enough to pull something like that! The REAL Laura Smith could file legal charges.

  5. I got a Blues Clue this morning!

    Wow! Maybe it’s someone in WITSEC.

  6. Land sakes, Laura Susie! Everyone knows how to search Goggle Images, don’t they? Get up to speed or stay out of the fast lane.

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