“You Didn’t Build That”

We built this cityFormer-former-former North Miami Beach mayor Jeffrey Mishcon was noted for saying, “If you don’t build it, they won’t come.”  He was right.  Nothing was built during his sixteen year term, and nobody came.  He fought development tooth and nail.  According to the 2010 Census, we have roughly the same forty thousand or so residents that was recorded in the 2000 Census.   No new growth equals no new revenue.

The good news is that development is coming to North Miami Beach.  And not a moment too soon.  The long-stalled project, formerly known as Marina Grande, will finally be constructed.  According to a Miami Herald article, Marina Palms Yacht Club & Residents “will boost [sic] two condominium buildings, consisting of 234 residences in each tower, along with a full-service marina with 112 slips.”  I’m pretty sure it will boast them, too.

The Biscayne Boulevard property’s scandalous history includes a lawsuit challenging the 2004 city council’s interpretation of the zoning code, for which the court ruled in favor of the plaintiffs, and over which the plaintiffs subsequently and mysteriously “settled” in order to allow the city to build the development they claim they didn’t want built.  (Huh?)  Unfortunately, as the article states, by the time it was “settled” in 2006, just like old milk, “the economy had started to turn.”  After receiving a settlement of an undisclosed amount from the developers, and stalling the project long enough for the real estate bubble to inevitably burst, the savvy plaintiffs got exactly what they set out to receive – enough cash to buy a new mayor, and a room with a view.

The rest is history.  That mayor turned out to be as crooked as the day is long, the economy started turning around, and another window of opportunity has opened for North Miami Beach to enter the 21st century.

I will not hold my breath, though.

I fully expect the usual suspects to continue fighting the Marina Palms project until the bitter end.  The same way I expect the same ilk of people to fight the Braha Dixie project from breaking ground under the guise of “saving” Greynolds Park.  At least one of the four petitioners in this new lawsuit does not live in North Miami Beach, yet that didn’t stop Charles M. Baron from trying to stop development in our city.  He has a problem with a proposed ten story complex outside the West Dixie Highway entrance of Greynolds Park.  He does not, however, have a problem living in a seven story condominium outside the West Dixie Highway entrance of Greynolds Park.  Go figure.

Although I’m told that one of the petitioners, Shelly Clay, does live in NMB, since I’m also told this isn’t her real name, I have no way of either confirming or denying whether she does or not.

Another anti-development activist-slash-treehugger, Amy Werba, I’m told is behind the “grassroots/Facebook” effort known as Save Greynolds Park.  She is also a director (along with the lawsuit petitioner Errol Alvey) and registered agent of the non-profit corporation Friends of the Oleta River, Inc., which organization helped to successfully put the kibosh on a project known as Blue Palms several years ago.

In addition, Ms. Werba is also a director of the non-profit corporation Arch Creek Trust, Inc., which (and this is a good thing) successfully stopped the City of North Miami from completely bulldozing the historic and beautiful Arch Creek Park to build a car dealership.  As if Arch Creek Park wasn’t worthy of saving in and of itself, the League of Paranormal Investigators, Inc. found “medium levels of paranormal activity” there and that “one psychic got the impression that native spirits are hiding in the trees.”  Ghosts notwithstanding, North Miami did not need another car dealership and, fortunately, Arch Creek Park still exists today.

Unlike Arch Creek Park, no one is trying to bulldoze Greynolds.  Not even close.

Yet another non-profit organization of which Ms. Werba is a director is the North Dade Orchid Club, Inc.   I know this group meets at NMB City Hall, where I imagine the members talk about how much they like orchids.  Orchids are pretty flowers.  What’s not to like?  Orchids are really hard to grow, though.  I know, I’ve tried.  Please don’t tell Amy, but I accidentally killed a few before I realized that orchid growing is not my calling.  If she finds out, she might have me arrested for murder.  Or worse, she might get her posse to form a human chain around my house like they do at nuclear reactors to protest any future orchid-cide I might be contemplating.  Not to worry, Amy.  My Adventures in Horticulture are a distant memory.

In all seriousness, though, as far as I’m concerned we have been stuck in the shadows of several progressive cities, i.e., Aventura, Sunny Isles Beach and, yes, even North Miami, all of which have not only embraced the future but have risen to the occasion.  Both literally and figuratively.  It’s long past time that North Miami Beach either follow suit by reinventing itself or just continue to slide into the muck of obscurity.  The only thing keeping this decaying city from completely rotting off the face of the map is our prime location.  I almost expect the cities of Aventura, Sunny Isles Beach and North Miami to figure out a way to build a sky bridge heading east from I-95 and linking all three cities, which would enable drivers to safely bypass the crime ridden, wild west-like streets of North Miami Beach altogether.

But, hey!  That would solve our traffic problems, eh?

It would also solve the high rise “problem” that some residents seem to think we’re in danger of contracting once we start developing.  Instead of the dreaded “tall buildings,” we’d have expressway overpasses blocking our view and our sunshine.  Not to mention cutting our neighborhoods in half like they did in Overtown.  If NMB continues to be the slum of northeast Miami-Dade County, don’t think for one minute it can’t happen here.

The leaders of Aventura, Sunny Isles Beach and North Miami would be justified in ignoring (or, hopefully, eradicating) our existence.  Who could blame them?  We are a blight in their midst.  Upon entering the Gateway to North Miami Beach from I-95, visitors are greeted to a view of run down strip malls, tattoo parlors, palm readers, XXX video stores, pawn shops, fast food joints and Asian “massage” parlors.  If they keep heading east, they eventually pass by our “anchor” store, Wal-Mart, which we can’t even claim as ours.  The ability to bypass North Miami Beach Boulevard would certainly help our neighboring cities attract more visitors!

It took nine years to get one decent development built in NMB.  (And that’s IF it gets built!)  Will it take another nine years to get another one off the ground?  At this rate, we’ll enter the 21st century by the time the year 2099 rolls around.  Luckily, none of us will be around to enjoy it.  Or care.

Then again, most of the people who are protesting development in North Miami Beach either don’t live here, or used to, but moved out a long time ago.  On the Save Greynolds Park Facebook page, those out-of-town folks are calling for the heads of all the current elected officials, threatening to vote them out of office.  News flash:  You have to live in NMB to vote in NMB.

The Mayor and Council are also receiving letters from people urging them to stop development.  I had to laugh at the letter from a woman who lives in uber upscale Yorktown Heights, New York (home of the headquarters of the IBM research center and where median housing prices are $614,260), who wrote:

“I am opposed to the multi-story building project that would be adjacent to Greynolds Park…Allowing a large development project to come in will irreversibly damage the park and surrounding area…This is unacceptable.  Our public parks and open spaces are an asset in themselves.  They provide a grand service to everyone and they belong to everyone in the Community…While I no longer live in the Community, I still visit frequently and have many friends and family in the area.  I implore you to find another way to make money and create jobs in North Miami Beach.  Please do not sacrifice your beautiful jewel, Greynolds Park, to do it.”

Wait!  I know!  I found “another way to make money and create jobs!”  We don’t need no stinkin’ development.  Let’s just open a couple dozen more Asian “massage” parlors instead.  At the annual business tax rate of $177.05 per establishment, we stand to increase our revenue by a whopping $4,249.20 per year!  Just think of all the “jobs” that will create, too!  Of course, then we’ll need to attract some VD clinics to the ‘hood.  That should definitely boost our economy.

We won’t even have to change our logo.  Simply replace “Now More Beautiful” for “Now More BJs.”

On an uplifting note, no orchids were harmed in the writing of this column.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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Truth in Advertising

Kitty Massage

Now that we’re all well informed about what really goes on in Asian “massage” parlors, my peeps and I decided that what this industry needs is some Truth in Advertising.  AMPs all over the world proudly boast the “services” of their high class establishments to willing johns, er, um, customers.  They take Freedom of Speech very seriously.  Why shouldn’t we?

For example, one window proudly displays its wares:

Horny Care

Horny Care?

Another entrepreneur takes friendly competition to a new level:

JB-BJ

You had me at “BJ.”

In China, they just spell it out for customers so there’s no confusion:

BJ Massage

You get what you pay for.

Some even hand out business cards:

Happy Ending

I’ll take two.

Or not:

Not a Happy Ending Establishment

Are we clear?

One establishment is savvy enough to use local landmarks to help sell its products:

Phallic Symbol Massage

Schwing!

Yet another clearly states that nookie is off limits:

Male Muslims

Copy that!

The Sorebun Institute of Sexual Awareness and Massage Parlor kills two birds with one stone:

Sorebun Institute

Sorebun? Pun intended?

For the DIYer:

Self Serve

Create your own happy ending.

Caveat emptor:

If you are stolen

Makes perfect sense to me!

Not to be outdone, my peeps have suggested a brand new advertising campaign for North Miami Beach to replace our local boring Asian “massage” parlor signs.  Here are the first two prototypes they’ve come up with:

Ho Depot

No caption necessary.

And:

Nasty Buffet

After dinner mint, anyone?

Now THAT’S Truth in Advertising!

Your suggestions are welcome!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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Rumors?

RumorsYou know the good news/bad news drill.

The bad news is that two of North Miami Police veteran officers won’t be able to give Kimmie the Key Holder a ride-along, a handcuffing or a Mickey D’s cheezburger in the future.

The good news is that both of them got swell new jobs at the Opa-locka Police Department.

The bad news is that those jobs don’t exist.

The good news (for the Gadfly, anyway) is that North Miami Beach’s former-former-FIRED city manager Kelvin Baker is embroiled in yet another scandal.

The bad news is that two good cops are now unemployed.

The good news is… oh, never mind.

Here’s the story:

According to a just published Miami Herald article, Opa-locka has new police chief – or does it?, North Miami Commander Jeffrey Key and Officer Peter Cruz claim that Mr. Baker offered them the positions of Opa-locka Police Chief and Deputy Chief, respectively.  They were ostensibly hired to replace outgoing Chief Cheryl Cason and Deputy Chief Antonio Sanchez.

Only one problem.

Cason and Sanchez aren’t going anywhere.

Baker swears up and down that Key and Cruz were mistaken and that the jobs he offered to them were nothing but “rumors.”

Rumors?  REALLY?

Two veteran cops made major life changing decisions based on RUMORS?  Sorry, but I DON’T FREAKING THINK SO!

Then again, rumor had it that former-former-FIRED city manager Kelvin Baker was competent to run the City of North Miami Beach when he was hired for that job.  We all know how well that worked out.  I wonder if the Opa-locka city council members are beginning to rethink their decision, too.

Commander Key and Officer Cruz should thank their lucky stars they aren’t going to work under Baker.  As far as I’m concerned, they dodged a bullet big time.  Hopefully, NMPD Chief Marc Elias will consider reinstating them if they want their jobs back.

(Note to NMB City Manager Roz and Police Chief Gomer:  If North Miami doesn’t want them, can we have them?  Pretty please?)

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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Kimmie Gets to be Kop for a Day

PHOTO FROM MAIL ONLINE: In action: Kardashian is filmed for her reality series sitting in a cop car as live calls come in through the radio

PHOTO FROM MAIL ONLINE: In action: Kardashian is filmed for her reality series sitting in a cop car as live calls come in through the radio

Not that we’d know it by reading the Miami Herald, but across the pond, The New Key-holding Kween of the City Kim Kardashian made news in the UK because of her recent ride-along with the North Miami Police Department.

According to the Mail Online, “The 32-year-old reality star claims to be fascinated with police work as she joins officers on season three of one of her TV shows, Kourtney & Kim Take Miami.”

Kimmie was just so excited to see how the other half lives.  The article states:

‘It’s so exciting and such a rush,’ Kim said afterwards. She went to an apartment where cops had arrested suspects with one man writhing around on the floor in handcuffs.

She explained: ‘I’m looking around and my heart is pounding. I’ve never seen anything like this in my life.’

‘It’s still really scary,’ said Kim. ‘That was so exciting, it made me hungry.’

She then got an officer to take her to a drive-through in the squad car so she could stock up on fast food.

North Miami’s very own Publicity Hound/King Mayor Andre Pierre must have drooled at the prospect of his city’s being on a national television reality series.  Kimmie stated that the city manager set up the ride-along by the city manager, but as everyone knows, former PD Chief/current Andre Stooge City Manager doesn’t make a move without a nod and a blink from Hizzoner.

Little Kimmie had such a blast, she actually asked one of the cops to handcuff her “to see what it feels like.”  When she tried to maneuver the cuffs from back to front, Kimmie couldn’t get them over her trademark butt.  According to the article, “she squealed.”

Come to think of it, no wonder the Miami Herald didn’t bother to run with this non-story.  Its reporters must have some real news to report today.  Like the upcoming Ultra Music Festival where hundreds of thousands of concert goers are expected to take drugs.

Herald leading articleNow THAT’S news!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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Silence! I sue you!

I KILL YOULast year my daughter bought tickets for my husband and I to go with her and a group of her friends to see a comedian/ventriloquist by the name of Jeff Dunham.  I had no idea who he was, but I figured it was sweet of her to want to be seen in public with her doddering old folks for a night out on the town.  Turns out, I’d heard about Dunham’s trademark puppet, Ahmed the Dead Terrorist.  I just didn’t know the comedian’s name at the time.  The show was pretty good (even though I’d have much rather seen a Dwight Yoakam concert), and we all had a blast.  Not to mention a Family Time Kodak Moment.

If you haven’t heard of Ahmed the Dead Terrorist, or that his trademark line is “Silence!  I kill you!” then you really have been living under a rock.  I can’t help you with that.  But for some strange reason, a letter I just got from a lawsuit happy lawyer by the name of Charles M. Baron made me think of good old Ahmed.  The extremely thin skinned Mr. Baron got a tad perturbed at a comment about him that one of my readers posted on my recent blog, My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.  Chucky wrote:

Stephanie – I can’t believe you re-posted the defamatory post below, after the talk I had with you. The post you are quoting at the end, and which you have 100% control over in the moderating/publishing of your blog, essentially accuses me of the crime of extortion.

This is what is called DEFAMATION PER SE under the law, which entitles me to sue you AND the person you are quoting for monetary damages, without the necessity of me proving any economic losses caused by the defamation. Should I sue, you will be forced in discovery in the lawsuit to reveal the source, who will then be added as a defendant.

This is to demand, for the LAST TIME, that you permanently remove the post. No further warning will be given!! If you wish, you may have your attorney call me – 305-933-9292.

YOUR POST:

Stephanie Kienzle says:

March 8, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Sure, you can have your comment back, with the caveat that Mr. Baron was allegedly initially asked to be a consultant by the developer’s representative, who then reconsidered the offer. I have to say “allegedly” because there is apparently nothing in writing and I am only going by what was told to me by the representative.

Here’s your original post:

“Here’s the deal: Mr Baron wanted the developer to hire him as their attorney/consultant, and he basically told them (on the record) that if they did not hire him he would oppose the project.”

Seems to me that Charles M. Baron, Esquire, is telling me, “Silence!  I sue you!”

Touchy, touchy, touchy.

This kinda reminds me of the reason I was named the Miami New Times’ Best Gadfly – 2011, for dogging North Miami Beach EX-mayor Myron Rosner from the moment he sicced Code Enforcement on me until he was gloriously voted out of office.

Photo from RandomPixels.blogspot.com

Photo from RandomPixels.blogspot.com

In the words of the New Times, “If his goal was to silence the legal secretary and 20-year North Miami Beach resident, Rosner struck out big time. The very next day, Miami’s best gadfly was back on her computer, blogging about Rosner’s crackdown and demanding his head. What a pain in the ass! (That’s a compliment, Stephanie.)”

Call me crazy, but…Wait!  Someone already did!

crazy woman

This threat also reminds me of the time when I pissed off a North Miami Beach cop, who called himself “Officer YeahRight,” for my opinion on salary and pension reform by posting a comment on my blog, telling me, “Your a crazy woman Kienzel. GO F$&K YOURSELF.”  Eventually, Officer YeahRight and I ended up calling a truce after some reasonable discussion on both our parts, and that whole crazy mishegas settled down after a spell.

And now, just like Ahmed the Dead Terrorist’s threat, “Silence!  I kill you!”, Charles M. Baron, Esquire, is attempting to intimidate me by threatening that if I don’t shut up, he’ll sue me.  He’s demanding that I remove the “offending” comment or else he’ll file yet another lawsuit.  (This dude’s got way too much time on his hands, eh?)

Not only do I not intimidate easily, but I also don’t negotiate with terrorists.  Even ones with law degrees.

However, out of the goodness of my heart, and in the spirit of…gee, I don’t know…cooperation, maybe?, I’ve decided to save him the time, the trouble and the court costs by removing the comment from the blog.

Feel better, Chucky?  Now, take your ball and go home to mommy.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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DMV comes to NMB

Sgt. Richard Silberman of the North Miami Beach Police Department distributed the following message:

The Florida Department of Motor Vehicles will have their mobile services set up in the lobby of the North Miami Beach Police Department on Monday, March 18th, 2013 from 9am – 3pm.  If you need to renew your Drivers License, update a change of address, etc. this is more convenient than traveling to Pembroke Park!
Stay safe
Sgt. Silberman
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Ambassador Rodman: I ♥ NMB

Photo from NY Post

Photo from NY Post

North Miami may claim Kim Kardashian as its Goodwill Ambassador, but North Miami ain’t got nuthin’ on NMB!  We have our very own international representative to help bring fame and glory to our humble city … none other than the newest Courier to the Commies – DENNIS RODMAN!

As reported by TMZ just a scant hour ago,  after he wowed the Diktator of North Korea with his wit and charm, Monsieur Rodman’s first stop last night was at NMB’s very own, very high class, strip joint, Dean’s Gold.

I am so impressed!

NOT!

Hey, Mayor Vallejo!  Are the Keys to the City in Rodman’s future?

According to TMZ, “We’re told Dennis came in with a few friends around 8:30pm to watch some sports on TV and hang out with the dancers. He stayed for roughly three hours before leaving.”

Next stop, Cuba?  Maybe Tio Fidel will be amenable to some basketball diplomacy since the embargo hasn’t been working out so well.

JUST KIDDING!  I ain’t no stinkin’ Commie.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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“Save North Miami Beach!”

NMB propertyThe Mayor and Council of North Miami Beach received an email today from one J. Anthony Davis, asking them to “save Greynolds Park!”  Apparently, the mere thought of building a (YIKES!) ten story commercial building on a piece of property outside and adjacent to the main entrance of Greynolds Park is akin to completely destroying “a 265-acre urban park in metropolitan Miami, just north of North Miami Beach, Florida, United States,” according to Wikipedia.

Mr. Davis wrote:

Sent: Tuesday, March 05, 2013 12:46 PM
To: Kramer, Barbara; Martell, Marlen; Pierre, Frantz; Spiegel, Beth; Smith, Phyllis; Derose,Philip; Vallejo, George
Subject: Please save Greynolds Park!

To all concerned:

PLEASE – save Greynolds Park! We need to save, maintain and cherish what little natural beauty remains in Florida for our future residents and visitors. We cannot continue to let our beautiful State be tortured with over development – no one comes to Florida to see asphalt and hi-rises, they come because of the climate and the beauty that is Florida and Dade and Broward county. Please do not let the development of our land rule over the wishes of the people of the area!

J. Anthony Davis

DAVIS & ASSOCIATES

P. O. Box 7488

Naples, FL 34101

(239) 430-0806 – Voice

(866) 226-7990 – Fax

A little research yielded information about J. Anthony Davis, specifically that he is an insurance agent for a company called Davis and Associates in Naples, Florida, which sells health and life insurance policies because it cares so much about your “Healthy Lifestyle.”

Last time I checked, insurance companies were in business to (GASP!) make money.

Last time I also checked, Naples, Florida is a long way from North Miami Beach.

Which begs the question, “Why is an insurance agent, whose source of income is in Naples, Florida, concerning himself with development in North Miami Beach?”  Glad you asked.

But, first, let’s take a look at the city of Naples.

According to Wikipedia, “As of the census of 2000, there were 20,976 people, 10,803 households, and 6,568 families residing in the city. The population density was 1,744.3 per square mile. There were 16,956 housing units at an average density of 1,410.0 per square mile. The racial makeup of the city was 92.50% White, 4.6% Black, 0.12% Native American, 0.33% Asian, 0.02% Pacific Islander, 0.30% from other races, and 2.07% from two or more races.  Hispanic or Latino of any race were 22.2% of the population.”

As for the Naples economy, “The median income for a household in the city was $71,553, and the median income for a family was $102,262. Males had a median income of $86,092 versus $30,948 for females. The per capital income the city was $61,141. About 3.1% of families and 5.9% of the population were below the poverty line, including 15.1% of those under age 18 and 3.3% of those age 65 or over.

Wikipedia continues, “Companies based in Naples include Beasley Broadcast Group and ASG in addition to numerous small businesses. Due to the wealth present in Collier County, Naples is also home to many small non-profit organizations.  The Naples metro area is also home to major private employers. Fortune 1000 company Health Management Associates, technology companies NewsBank and INgage Networks, and medical equipment manufacturer Arthrex are located just north of the city in North Naples.”

Glaringly, Wikipedia also states, “In 2009, Naples was ranked as one of 10 pricey cities worth its high cost.”

North Miami Beach, by contrast, according to Wikipedia, “As of the census of 2000, there were 40,786 people, 13,987 households, and 9,804 families residing in the city. The population density was 8,230.6 inhabitants per square mile. There were 15,350 housing units at an average density of 3,097.6 per square mile (1,194.9/km²). The racial makeup of the city was 46.68% White (24.8% were Non-Hispanic White,) 38.97% black and/or African American, 0.29% Native American, 4.04% Asian, 0.07% Pacific Islander, 4.61% from other races, and 5.34% from two or more races.  Hispanic or Latino of any race were 30.02% of the population.”

Wikipedia does NOT mention all the well known and wealthy companies based in North Miami Beach because, well, because THERE ARE NONE!

Wikipedia also does NOT state how NMB was ranked in terms of it’s “pricey-ness,” but does “boast” that “The median income for a household in the city was $31,377, and the median income for a family was $35,047. Males had a median income of $26,278 versus $22,110 for females. The per capita income or the city was $14,699. About 18.4% of families and 20.5% of the population were below the poverty line, including 25.1% of those under age 18 and 18.2% of those age 65 or over.”

In layman terms, Naples, Florida has everything that North Miami Beach, Florida does not.  We have nearly five times the bodies per square mile, way less than half the median household income, and approximately one third the median family income.  A paltry 3.1% of Naples families, or 5.9% of the population, are below the poverty line, while 18.4% of North Miami Beach families, or 20.5% of the population, are poor.  That includes 18.2% of our seniors as compared to Naples’ 3.3% poor people over the age of 65.

Hardly “apples to apples.”

But the most noteworthy aspect of Naples, Florida, is its booming development.  A website called Naples By Day, has an extensive list of high rise and mid rise condominiums for sale, and states that, “Naples has many beautiful high rise condominiums, giving residents the luxury of sunset views of Naples and the Gulf of Mexico, Naples Bay and the vast amount of Golf courses that Naples is home to.”

The list of units for sale are quite impressive in buildings ranging from 5 to 28 stories high, and are too numerous to count.  The high rises far outnumber the mid rise buildings.  Apparently, Naples’ 20,976 residents have a wide range of high rises to choose from when deciding to purchase a condominium.

North Miami Beach’s 40,786 residents get to choose between none and, well, none.

A prominent Florida developer, BCBE Construction, “has built over 150 high rise condominiums throughout Florida. Many of those high rises were built in the Park Shore & Bay Colony neighborhoods in Naples, Florida.”

Park Shore Condominiums Build by BCBG, Naples, Florida

Park Shore Condominiums Build by BCBG, Naples, Florida

BCBE Construction has yet to build a damn thing in North Miami Beach.  Gee, I wonder why.

Okay, no, I don’t.

Aside from the fact that North Miami Beach isn’t even in the same league on any level as Naples, Florida, I’m quite sure our anti-development reputation has preceded us.  BCBE Construction is probably avoiding NMB like the plague.

Naples denizen Mr. J. Anthony Davis has absolutely no clue what life is like in our hell hole of a town, and he has a lot of freaking nerve telling our City Council to “save Greynolds Park.”  I’d advise him to take a number and go stand in the STFU line.

Only an Act of God can save North Miami Beach from perpetual ghetto-hood.  We don’t need people from a privileged city such as Naples to stand in our way to “save NMB!”

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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I think Shakespeare was on to something…

Lawyer SharksThe Lawyer to the Criminal Stars does it again!

North Miami Beach EX-mayor Myron Rosner was scheduled to stand trial this morning for his FOUR FELONIES and FIVE MISDEMEANORS before Judge Bertila Soto.  Those of us who already know how slimy Myron is figured his uber expensive Criminal Lawyer Ben Kuehne would somehow be able to keep postponing the inevitable to keep Myron out of jail as long as possible.  As expected, he’s done it again.

The trial was originally supposed to start on November 30, 2012.

It was then rescheduled to January 28, 2013.

It was then rescheduled to February 11, 2013.

It was then rescheduled to March 5, 2012.

Now, according to the Docket, his trial has been rescheduled AGAIN to April 25, 2013.

Myron Criminal Case Docket

At this rate, justice might (or might not) be served by the next ice age.

Considering all the financial troubles Myron has brought upon himself, one can’t help but wonder how he’s paying for Mr. Kuehne’s services.  Considering that Myron is the husband of CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE SARAH ZABEL, one can’t help but wonder if Mr. Kuehne is offering his services to Myron pro bono simply to curry favor with CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE SARAH ZABEL for the next time he has to appear before her in Court.  Just saying, of course.

For some reason, the only famous line from Shakespeare’s obscure play about Henry VI comes to mind:

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

Just saying, of course.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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North Miami Beach Magical History Tour, Saturday, April 6, 2013

Dade Heritage Trust DaysPosted in the Dade Heritage Days Special Events Program for Dade Heritage Days March 1-April 30, 2013:
North Miami Beach Magical History Tour
Saturday, April 6, Check-in: 9:30 a.m., Bus departure: 10:00 a.m.
North Miami Beach Public Library 1601 NE 164th St, North Miami Beach
Join North Miami Beach Councilwoman Barbara Kramer, liaison to the North Miami Beach Multi-Cultural Committee, and local historian Alan Sokol for a FREE history tour of North Miami Beach. This is a great opportunity to learn more about the fascinating history of North Miami Beach, from the iconic Ancient Spanish Monastery to the Fulford Fountain, and much more! The tour will last approximately three hours and will leave and return from the NMB Public Library. Advance reservations required. For more info and reservations call 305-948-2957.
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