Ladies and gentlemen, we have a brand new Darwin Award contender. According to an NBC Miami article just posted, Hollywood Man Accidentally Shoots Himself in Buttocks, the contest for a 2014 winner is still wide open.
Before I read the article, I sat here scratching my head for a few minutes trying to figure out how on earth someone could actually shoot himself in the ass.
It’s entirely conceivable that someone can accidentally shoot himself in the knee. Or the foot. I’m a complete klutz, so I clearly understand the possibilities.
But it would take some serious talent, even for a contortionist, to actually shoot himself where the sun don’t shine. Only a total loser could do that by chance.
As it turns out, it wasn’t quite as complicated as all that. The man “in his 20s, was cleaning the .38 caliber handgun … when it dropped to the floor and discharged, hitting the man in the backside,” said Hollywood Police Lt. Derik Alexander.
Fortunately, the idiot won’t be charged with a crime.
Unfortunately, it’s perfectly legal to be a moron.
The young man, who so far remains nameless (for obvious reasons?), should consider himself lucky. If the stray bullet had shot him a few inches in another direction, he might have forever lost his ability to contaminate the gene pool even further, thus depriving the world of his progeny.
And at least one or two future Darwin Award nominees.
“Spreading the Wealth”