Weekend Update

bitches be trippin'Yeah, I know.  I haven’t written any blogs in a few days.  Al Crespo of the Crespogram Report also noticed because he sent me an email asking if I was okay.

For one thing, it’s just been really slow around here lately.  Even the news that Circuit Court Judge Sarah Zabel finally got an opponent was fleeting.

In what must be the shortest-lived campaign in the history of Miami-Dade County, two days after I announced that I was endorsing her, I received a text that Marianne Salazar had withdrawn from the race.

As you can see, my endorsement really carries a lot of weight around here.

Vote for nobody

Maybe Marianne Salazar was scared off by Zabel’s “campaign war chest of more than $80,000.00,” as reported by a Daily Business Review article from February 21, 2014.

Or maybe Zabel’s husband, North Miami Beach EX-Mayor/current FELONY defendant Myron Rosner somehow found a way to intimidate Salazar into backing out.  After all, if there’s one thing Myron excels at, it’s bullying.

Note to Myron:

nobody reads my blogIn any event, Sarah now runs unopposed and will sit on the bench for another six years.  I imagine Myron is greatly relieved.  As long as Sarah keeps her seat, he will be able to pull out the My Wife is a Judge Card if any cases are brought against him in Miami-Dade County, whether civil or criminal.

The FIRE SARAH ZABEL! campaign has also officially withdrawn from the election.

Handcuff meIn other non-breaking news, a sort of bomb scare shut down a major road for hours yesterday in one of northeast Miami-Dade County’s busiest intersections – Biscayne Boulevard and 163rd Street.  As reported by Channel 10, someone left a “suspicious bag” on a picnic table outside the Miami-Dade County Police station on 156th and Biscayne.  The bomb squad was quickly dispatched to blow up the bag.

Birthday Bear

“That was some party,” said Birthday Bear.

Detective Roy Rutland told Channel 10 that the bag was inspected and determined to be safe.

This story was so important, it even made headlines across the pond in the Daily Mail.

Must have been a slow news day in the United Kingdom, too.

On the upside, there haven’t been any North Miami Beach shootings to report in a couple of weeks.  To ease the boredom, my cat Missy decided to turn to a life of crime.

GANGSTA CATOkay, I confess.  That’s not Missy.

It’s not even my cat.  That’s just a funny picture I found while trolling the ‘net in search of something exciting to report.

As long as my boyfriend keeps working on Saturday nights, this is as good as it gets.

No, wait.  There is one more thing.

Some man posted on Facebook that his dog died.  The next day he posted a rant that none of his Facebook friends clicked “Like” on his previous post.  Seriously, this is a grown man who’s whining that no one clicked “Like” to the news that he lost his best friend.

Someone really needs to smack him into next Thursday.

changing my nameIn answer to your question, Al, no need to worry about me.  I’m okay.  Really!

shy at firstStephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”

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  1. Peter A Roland says:

    I thought you were just taking some time off in celebration of you recent birthday?
    Guess not!
    Happy Birthday anyway young lady!


    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      I was just chillin’ for a while. Thanks for the birthday wishes, Peter! 🙂


  2. NewsWorthy says:

    Actually there was a shooting Friday night, guy got shot several times, transported in critical.


    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      I heard about that not long after I posted my column last night. At NE 10th Avenue and 162nd Street I believe. If I had heard about it on Friday night, I definitely would have mentioned it.

      Here’s the thing. Shootings have become so commonplace now, not only in NMB, but in North Miami and surrounding areas as well, that it’s only worth mentioning when there aren’t any.

      Yeah, that’s a sad commentary, huh?


  3. Bob says:

    There was a police chopper over the donut hole for an hour on Thursday night. Just cause it’s not reported, doesn’t meaning “something” didn’t happen.


    1. Stephanie Kienzle says:

      Which is why I said I had nothing to report. No one reported it to me. There was a shooting that went under my radar. Radio silence…


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