Now the fun begins. What most likely started out as a joke has somehow spiraled into one of the nuttiest schemes ever cooked up in North Miami Beach, and apparently everywhere else, as the Santeria birdseed story has gained worldwide attention. If you want to know how viral this has gone, just google “birdseed hex” and get ready to laugh your ass off.
As far as comic relief goes, what more proof do you need that truth really is stranger than fiction? I don’t even think that Carl Hiaasen, the master of twisted satire novels about South Florida, could have made this one up. I wish I had thought of it, but I can’t write fiction. I have plenty of bizarro material from real life in NMB.
I doubt that Nadege Green’s latest Miami Herald article, North Miami Beach officer fired for Santeria birdseed plot, will be the last in her series of this now infamous tale, one of many Embarrassing Moments in NMB Police History. Ms. Green sure is on a roll!
It’s not like she doesn’t have plenty to write about. From the cops’ antagonistic behavior during the recent budget season, to a detective blowing a murder case by having an affair with the defendant’s wife, to a cop getting fired for sending threatening messages from a police computer, to a couple of them attacking private residents on their LEOAffairs website, and now this – the Great Birdseed Caper, Nadege certainly has enough to start her first book. We now officially have the most laughed about police force in America. Maybe even on the entire planet.
An old friend of mine who works for Miami-Dade County, sent me an email last night. She said, “Your city’s making the County look good. LOL!”
Yep, that we are.
Even funnier than this story are the comments by Herald readers posted at the bottom of today’s article. Here are a few of the best for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
“Why would she not show up at her own appeals hearing? That makes no sense.”
“Maybe she tried another spell using another orisha or had at job interview with the Seminole Police Department.”
“I heard a flock of birds were following her around and dive bombing her. She took refuge under a holy frock and wouldn’t come out.”
“I want to know where you work in this world that they would not fire you for such stupidity.”
“Miami Dade County, USA”
“The city manager should have put a bloody dead chicken under the Officers windshield wiper, see how she likes it. Firing her was excessive.”
“Next time I get stopped by the police, I’m going to be armed with a bag of birdseed.”
“I hope the officer get a good lawyer and sticks it to the city for governing while stupid.”
“Are you sure this isn’t a Dave Barry novel plot? Magical birdseed is clearly phony. It’s the magical fish food that has the power.”
“I got a seat-belt ticket from this officer in May…She had a glock 22, Taser, hand-cuffs and a chicken’s foot hanging from her gun belt in a cute little leather holster thingy. I was tooo freaked out to ask what it was for and just took the ticket.”
“I’m surprised she wasn’t promoted in this banana republic.”
But, the best comment by far was, “The article said it was in North Miami Beach!”
Yah, that explains it all!
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
…and I thought it couldn’t get worse than Myron.
In response to RickyTicky’s previous:
rickyticky says:
December 6, 2011 at 4:44 pm
“Defend them? I called both the cop and the employee idiots for planning such an absurd thing. I give everybody their due justice. And even though Officer Torrez was fired, I still believe she has a good case to get her job back. She did not get to commit the offense in question. Conduct unbecoming???”
Ticky, first of all, I apologize for my own lashing out. I’d been out with Stopthemadness eating chili, drinking Patron and liming to the moon LOL! I know, it’s no excuse.
Since I stumbled upon your last few comments by accident, and you questioned my coherence, I went back and read your previous comments on this blog. While at one point you seemed to suggest you were a teacher (lamenting the lack of capitalization in high-tech communiques, a lament that I share), I did glean from your other comments that you are a staunch supporter of law enforcement, which led me to believe you were a member of the LEO community. Even your last comment above supports this belief. However, if you say you’re not a cop, well, I have to take you at your word. Again, I apologize.
All that being said, I think you and many other people are missing the point of the “conduct unbecoming” dismissal. This veteran law-enforcement officer not only came up with a stupid idea (not necessarily in and of itself a cause for dismissal), but attempted to get a JANITOR to carry out her scheme. That’s an abuse of power, and certainly qualifies as conduct unbecoming an LEO, in my humble opinion.
Again, I apologize for my assumptions, if they were incorrect.
Now, as for standing in line for Stephanie…sorry, I’m in front of you. So back off. 🙂