My most vivid recollection from my youth was that the school day always started promptly.  No matter what classroom I entered, even before the school bell rang the teacher was already on her feet at the blackboard ready to give us our lessons. The teacher was a fixture in the classroom, and in many cases, a child’s first role model.  No matter what problems I might have been having with friends or my parents or siblings, I knew I could always count on my teachers to be exactly where they were supposed to be.  I was never disappointed.

To this day, things haven’t changed much in the world of education.  Teachers are still at their desks every single morning, waiting for the bell to ring, ready to start the day.

Firefighters also are mindful of bells.  The very second the clock strikes 7:00 am, the crew is ready to rock and the firetruck is ready to roll.  If there’s no fire to attend to, the crew still has a checklist of chores that must be done while waiting for an alarm to sound.  If there is an emergency, even at the stroke of 7:00, within minutes – sometimes seconds – the crew is already at their places fully geared up, and the truck rolls out of the station.  Somehow, when their shift starts, firefighters manage to be ready to start the day.

Scores of other employees all over the world know that whatever time their job starts, they are expected to be at their desks (or blackboards, or trucks, or assembly lines, or wherever) ready to work.  Even if they have to arrive a few minutes early to prepare, they somehow manage to start their jobs on time.

Except, apparently, cops.

Used to getting whatever they want and being treated like little gods, cops think the rules of the workplace just don’t apply to them.  At least, this seems to be the case in the North Miami Beach Police Department.  Now that the economy has forced budget cuts on just about every single municipal agency in the country, including cities, states and the federal government, public employees are facing the same reality that private sector employees have been facing for while now.  And, that is, when the money’s gone, sacrifices must be made.  Just as companies have been downsizing (read: laying off workers), municipalities have had to deal with painful cuts in their budgets, which have also led to layoffs and other cutbacks.  Nobody is happy about it, but it is what it is.

Because of these cuts, the NMB police have had to give up their take home cars.  For years these employees were given a police car to drive to and from work at taxpayer expense.  Some years back, the city started charging cops a per mile surcharge for the use of the cars.  Considering the price of gasoline and insurance, not to mention a costly car payment, this was still a pretty darn good deal for the cops.  Most people don’t have the luxury of having free or nearly free transportation, replete with air conditioning and stereo, at their disposal.  If they did, most people would be grateful.  In fact, plenty of folks have to make do with public transportation.  Believe me, waiting for a bus in a South Florida thunderstorm is no picnic.  But our cops were given a free ride, literally, for so long that gratitude apparently never occurred to them.  It only added to their sense of entitlement.

Now that their taxpayer funded transportation is gone, they’re throwing a collective temper tantrum.  On their pubescent website, LEOAffairs.com, they’re having a grand old bitch fest about having to be treated as one of the “little people.”  Like children reacting to their toys being taken away, they’ve resorted to the infantile tactics of attacking the Mayor, City Manager and those residents they scornfully refer to as the STP.  Instead of accepting reality the way normal adults do as a matter of course, the cops refuse to grow up.  So they piss and moan and have a pity party.  One of them called Harper posted on their LEO site:

Harper » 01/07/12 01:04:46 Fact- it will take a half hour to check the car into service before my shift and a half hour at the end of my shift. So the city feels comfortable with paying me $35.00 per day, $175 per week, $700 per month, $9,100 per year, which is also pensionable, to check a police in and out of service. That’s Awesome!!!!!!!

Fact- during this vehicle/ shift change there will be no police on the streets for a half hour period. That’s 1 hr a day, 5 hrs a week, 20 hrs a month and 260 hrs a year there won’t be a single police officer on the streets of NMB. Good decision Bonner & Serta, way to look out for the citizens that you serve.

Fact- the city will be purchasing more police cars than they’ve ever had to budget for due to the wear and tear on the vehicles from 24 hr/365 day usage. Great fiscal decision Bonner & Serta.

Fact- Staph Infection[*] hates unions but pays her bills from a union negotiated pension and union negotiated DROP. So ignore her envy because she has as much credibility as the bird poop that’s dried up on my windshield.

*For those who are uninitiated, “Staph Infection” is yours truly.  Yeah, baby!

Let’s analyze Harper’s “facts:”

Fact – If it takes “a half hour to check the car into service” and then another “half hour” to check it out at the end of a shift, then something is horribly wrong with the process.  Even assuming this “half hour” includes grabbing coffee and a doughnut, why on earth would it take “a half hour to check a car into service?”  I mean, seriously!  I will assume the cops show up for work already dressed and carrying their guns.  What else do they need in order to sit in a car, adjust the seat and mirrors, start the engine and pull out of the parking lot?  I’m sure they’ll come with with all kinds of “brilliant” responses to these questions, which are not rhetorical, by the way.  But, for the most part, there can’t be THAT much involved to “check a car into service.”  I mean it’s not as if they have to haul fifty pound fireproof gear on and off a truck, check and inspect water pumps and hoses, or hydraulic ladders, and all the miscellaneous gadgets needed for such equipment.  Cop cars don’t have to be restocked with things like advanced life support medical equipment and supplies.  And “checking a police car out” certainly doesn’t involve such things as draining the hoses, inspecting the gaskets or removing nozzles and closing valves.

Bottom line is checking “a police car into service” basically requires a few simple steps, such as:  (a) insert key into door lock; (b) open door, (c) sit in car, (d) put seat belt on, (e) put key in ignition, (f) turn key, (g) put car in gear, and (h) drive.  Uh, yeah, that’s a lot of work.  Sure sounds like a half hour’s worth to me.  Puh-LEEZE!

Fact – If, as Harper declares, “during this vehicle/ shift change there will be no police on the streets for a half hour period,” who would notice?  Even more importantly, who cares?  It’s not as if we see police cars patrolling the streets continuously anyway.  I can’t tell you how often I drive through North Miami Beach on any given day for long stretches of time without once seeing a black and white.  Unless I drive by a Dunkin’ Donuts, which I avoid anyway.  It’s not as if our cops are into the whole community policing/street patrolling anyway (more on that in a moment).  Not having cops “on the streets for a half hour period” probably helps keep them out of trouble.  I’m just saying.

Fact – as to “wear and tear on the vehicles from 24 hr/365 day usage,” we’ll take our chances.  Besides, even IF the cars are being used 24 hours a day, it’s a lot less cheaper than the cost of damages and lawsuits when cops get into accidents on the way to and from work.  We might even save on insurance costs for that matter.  Besides, if the cops cared a whit about city owned vehicles in the first place, they wouldn’t keep them running with the air on while parking under trees or writing a ticket or “liming at the Nankin.”  I’m just saying.

Fact – Yeah, I will always hate UNIONS.  And cops will always be jealous of firefighters.  No argument there.

Moving right along…

Ever the comedians, a cop named “Guest” penned an essay on yet another topic on LEOAffairs.com, as follows:

Guest» 01/11/12 13:34:06

The North Miami Beach police department is seeking to hire qualified candidates for the position of Police Officer. Applicants must be 19 years old, a US citizen and possess a valid drivers license. The agency has no specialized units, so candidates can expect to spend their entire career working road patrol with no chance for any other experience or challenge. Candidates will not ever be able to branch out into areas like K-9, SWAT, Marine Patrol, Motors, Community Police, Gangs, Street Crimes or Dive. Nope, here at NMB we do nothing but road patrol 24/7/365 and since working at NMB provides no work experience like other agencies, candidates should not ever expect to receive consideration from any other field or realm of law enforcement including but not limited to state or federal agencies. Working at NMB will not qualify you for any advancement anywhere else on the face of the planet. More good news…North Miami Beach is only 96 officers in size and shrinking fast, so chances of promotion are virtually non-existent. Anyone hired by NMB should expect to serve their entire career working as a road officer receiving road officer salary. If you want to do something other than road patrol or if you would like to one day receive promotional benefits, NMB is not the place for you. Other agencies you might be considering provide benefits like take-home cars, but NMB has set itself apart from these agencies by not offering any benefits. Candidates here will have the honor and privilege of checking in and out a spare car for each of the three thousand tours of duty of their entire pointless career. The cockroaches in your cars, for now, are free of charge. This is an experimental program and the city reserves the right to charge officers a per-roach fee in the future. Other agencies offer a pension but here at NMB we are proud of the fact that we offer only an STP-friendly 401K with matching contributions paid by the city, provided those matching contributions do not exceed $15 per year. As if all this were not reason enough to join the Fulford By the Sea/North Miami Beach police department, we also offer the added benefit of working in a city where you are utterly hated and despised by the mayor, city manager and almost half of the city council. Yes, the very minute you are hired as a police officer the powers-that-be and decision makers in our city will find you loathesome and for your entire career and they will portray you to the public as being the piggish enemy and they will demonize and marginalize you at every turn. This is a good thing, in our opinion, as it will serve to make you cynical and as hard as nails. Being as hard as nails in NMB is a good thing, because NMB police officers become involved in shootouts more than any other agency in the area. Yes, NMB boasts the highest crime rate per capita and crime is growing higher by the day so you had better act fast if you want in on the ground floor of this violent and self-destructive experiment in 100% reactive policing. If toiling your entire career on the road for minimum salary and minimum benefits and with no chance of promotion sounds like the job for you, tear up that Opa Locka application and come see Niki in personnel.

Guest

 

Aside from the fact that “Guest 33,” who replied to this comment and for some inexplicable reason, said, “LMAO!  Now that’s some funny shit,” the author inadvertently told us exactly what we’ve suspected all along, and that is that “working road patrol” is the most undesirable part of the job.  (Sorry, Guest 33.  That’s not “funny shit.”)  Ironically, this is exactly what the residents have been wanting for years – MORE POLICE PRESENCE ON OUR STREETS!  So, folks, there you have it.  You don’t see cops on the streets here BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO DRIVE AROUND ON “ROAD PATROL.”  Apparently, “working road patrol” is like a prison sentence to these cops who’d much prefer being “specialists” by “branch[ing] out into areas like K-9, SWAT, Marine Patrol, Motors, Community Police, Gangs, Street Crimes or Dive.”  You know, those “exciting” areas, also known as “duplicate services” for which we are already paying to Miami-Dade County?  Hey, here’s a thought, fellas.  If “working road patrol” is just too freaking boring for you, why don’t you go get a job with the county?  I’m just saying.

Of course, for comic relief this blog wouldn’t be complete without bestowing the popular “Poor Spelling Award” to one of North Miami Beach’s finest.  Again on LEOAffairs.com (where else?), Taco writes:

taco» 01/06/12 17:33:42

Dear Fellow Citizens (not the STP’s)NMBpd was the first police dept in dade county to have take-home police vehicles and on 01/09/2011 NMBpd will be the first police dept to return to pool cars.Talk about how the mayor, counsel and city manager continue to try to destroy the NMBPD……..go ahead STAP …..lets here your B.S. again.Staph please tell us how you paid those $3,000.00 to Georgee’s political campaign……we know how and why. tell your side of the story. By the way, Biscayne Times said “Hello”

Taco is also a finalist for the “Let Me Just Make Up Shit Award,” since I did not give $3,000.00 to the Mayor for his campaign.  Not even close.

Now, THAT’S “funny shit.”  LMAO!

Even funnier is the claim by “Dancing Devil” cop who wrote:

“Guest» 01/15/12 18:28:04

Hey, George…we all know that you used to post responses on this website. Do you have the courage to respond to this one?Feel free to use an alias. Everyone else does.

Listen up, dude.  The Mayor has never, ever, EVER posted a damn thing on your dumbass LEOAffairs website, anonymously or otherwise.  Unless you can prove such a blatantly false statement, you need to STFU.  I’m sure you can cut in line in front of Phyllis.

Just like teachers and firefighters, who actually show up for work on time, do their jobs and treat the public with respect, I remember a time when cops had a similar work ethic.  In those days, cops patrolled the streets regularly, walked a beat, chatted with people, and made us feel safe and secure in our own neighborhoods.  Those old fashioned police officers took their jobs seriously and wore their badges with pride.  Residents rested easy 24/7 knowing that we were protected from any number of very bad things that could happen.  We also knew that if we called the police for whatever reason, they’d show up, be professional, courteous and pleasant.  We knew we could trust them and they never betrayed that trust.

Unfortunately, for some reason cops have come to think of themselves as more important than anyone else, even the public they’re supposed to serve.  They have nothing but scorn for the very people who are paying them to do their jobs.  They have become used to holding the public and elected officials hostage to their unreasonable demands, and politicians used the cops for their own political agenda.  It was a mutually beneficial deal with the devil.  But the chickens, as they say, have come home to roost.  Unsustainable police pensions and forced UNION demands are bankrupting cities all around the nation.  Police officers, who are angrily and nastily balking at having to make concessions so we can live within our means, are turning themselves into Public Enemy Number One.  The irony is that they have no clue why people are starting to despise them.

Here’s a news flash:  If you want us to treat you with the same respect we give teachers and firefighters, stop calling us names and making threats.  Stop acting like you’re better than us and everyone else.  Stop biting the hand that feeds you.  In other words, start acting like adults instead of spoiled little babies.

As long as you continue to view your job as nothing but a means to line your pockets with our hard earned tax dollars, without taking any ownership of our community, or caring about what happens to us, you’ll get exactly the treatment you deserve.  Frankly, everyone is getting sick of your crap, and it’s more than just the “Same Ten People,” whether you believe that or not.  I am so over you, and you obviously have no idea how many other people are, too.  It’s a damn shame that the cops who are dedicated and professional are being judged by the STCs (Same Ten Cops) who hang out at the LEOAffairs playground.  But, as they say, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  If you’re one of the good ones, you need to publicly step up and call them out.  Otherwise, you are part of the problem.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”