One morning last March as I drove past the Jade Winds Apartments on my way to work, I noticed a bunch of police cars and several news trucks at the entrance to the apartment complex.  The place was crawling with cops and reporters.  I had no idea what happened, but obviously it was something really bad.  Until I saw the news headlines on the internet, I had no idea quite how bad.  As it turned out, a sixteen year old boy named Kit Darrant had murdered his mother, Renette Emile, covered her body with blankets, and left her decomposing for over a week in their apartment until the body was discovered by the mother’s sister and boyfriend.

Yeah, that was not just bad, it was unthinkable.  Few details have emerged until today’s Miami Herald article, Records detail allegations against teen in Murder of North-Dade Mom.  This is an in-depth story of a childhood gone horribly wrong from the beginning.

As I wrote in my column, Playing Identity Politics, a Ms. Karyne Pompilus addressed the North Miami Beach City Council on June 5, 2012, on behalf of her organization, Actions for Better Future, Inc.  She brought up this case, claiming that “This is new to our community.”  She further exclaimed that her community “is in shock and this needs to be discussed.  They need people to tell them what is going on with Haitian kids?”

After reading today’s article, and knowing what I know, not only about raising kids, but what I’ve learned about human nature, I have a pretty good idea.  So bear with me as I play armchair psychologist for Ms. Pompilus.

First of all, this tragedy could have happened to any family, not just a Haitian one.  In fact, the news archives are filled with similar stories of children killing their parents.  Luckily it doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.  It’s not limited to any one race or nationality, but there usually seems to be a common thread in such instances – a combination of nature and nurture gone wrong.

As I wrote in my response to Ms. Pompilus’ question about what’s going on with Haitian kids, has she tried asking their parents?  In this particular case, where the mother is dead and the father has been deported back to Haiti, that’s obviously impossible.  However, based on accounts by the boy’s aunt, neighbors and friends, it’s obvious that a lot went wrong in this child’s life, probably from the day he was born.

Kit Darrant believed that his mother hated him and “would do anything to get rid of him.”  Considering that the aunt claimed “she witnessed her sister beat Kit from the time he was a toddler, using a belt or an extension cord…Like how they beat kids in Haiti,” little wonder where he got that idea.

According to the aunt, there were many instances of troubled behavior on the child’s part that would have been a red flag to most parents.  He engaged in plenty of drinking and drugging, which was bad enough.  But, the time when he jumped out of his mother’s moving car and stood in the street daring cars to hit him, should have gotten his mother’s attention.  Although Kit spent a week in the hospital after that incident “undergoing treatment for his injuries and mental health,” that was obviously not enough.  His aunt claims Kit told her “he had nothing to live for.”  Clearly that was a signal that this child needed intensive therapy in a mental health institution for an extended period of time.  Treating such alarming behavior for only a week was like putting a band-aid on a gushing artery.

After that, there were the school suspensions, the arrests and the drug abuse.  Still, Kit’s mother went to school and work like it was business as usual.  Did anyone – mother, aunt, friends – anyone at all have a clue that this was not normal behavior?  According to the article, even after he completed “a counseling program for troubled teens,” he told his aunt, “I’m going to kill myself or I’m going to kill her this time.”  Did she not think this statement was serious enough to make her realize that the treatment program didn’t work?  Was there absolutely no one in this child’s life aware that he was a time bomb just waiting to go off?  I find that impossible to believe.

Obviously, this is an extreme case of the worst that can possibly happen in a clearly dysfunctional family.  While there are millions of single parents out there who manage to raise good kids who become productive and successful members of society, there are those single parents who desperately need outside help from the other parent, extended family members, or a caring circle of friends.  In Kit Darrant’s case, his aunt was somewhat involved, but there was apparently no male role models in the boy’s life.  His father lived in Naples before he was sent back to Haiti, and even though his mother had a boyfriend, that man didn’t appear to be an involved step-parent.  He barely was involved in his own three-year old child’s life, much less his girlfriend’s child.  None of the accounts mention that the family went to church, so I’m also guessing there was no pastor or male church members who could have mentored the child.  Kit Darrant appears to have been left to his own devices for pretty much anything and everything.  That alone is sad enough.  But, combine the lack of any substantial support system with an aimless troubled teenager, and you have a recipe for disaster.

If lack of money was the problem, you wouldn’t know it by the fact that his mother owned a Mercedes-Benz, which Kit Durrant liked to take for joy rides without her permission.  I just can’t help but wonder why, or even how, a single mother who went to school, worked as a security guard and rented an apartment, owned a Mercedes-Benz.  To me, that speaks volumes about her priorities.  If she had no problem buying such a flashy, expensive car, she obviously had the resources to get her son the help he needed.  Was she really not aware that her child was a budding sociopath?  Or did she simply care more about a fancy car than her child’s mental health?  I guess we’ll never know.  I do know her Mercedez-Benz isn’t much use to her now.  Then again, neither is her son.

It isn’t easy to be a responsible parent.  It takes years of hard work, an infinite amount of love and patience, and constant sacrifice.  If you’re a single parent, double that.  Every child needs food, shelter and clothing, and a responsible parent provides all three.  But, aside from the basics, the single most important thing in a child’s life is a parent who is present.

A present parent takes the time to know his or her child, his innermost thoughts and feelings, his hopes and dreams, his pain and his joy.  A present parent reads books at bedtime, conferences with teachers, helps with homework, joins the PTA, goes to science fairs, school plays, award ceremonies and baseball games.  A present parent instinctively knows when her child is sick, either physically or emotionally, and when he needs help.  In other words, a present parent knows her child like she knows the back of her hand.  The same way her own hand would hurt if injured, she would feel her child’s pain in her very soul.  A present parent would move mountains to make that pain go away.  No amount of money in the world can take the place of a present parent.

Sadly, but apparently, Renette Emile dropped the ball somewhere along the way.

Certainly there are plenty of good parents who, no matter what they do right, have children who are “bad seeds.”  Sometimes emotional or psychological problems are innate because those kids were just wired like that from birth.  But, the vast majority of troubled kids come from troubled homes.  From the facts that are known about this case right now, it’s hard to tell if Kit Darrant was destined to be one of those “bad seeds,” or if he could have been saved if he were raised under different circumstances.  Either way, the end product is the same – Kit Darrant is seriously mentally disturbed.

Regardless of whether his mental illness was caused by nature or nurture, or a combination thereof, the real problem is that it went untreated for sixteen years too long.

In response to Ms. Pompilus:  You can go back and tell “your community” that this sad tale is not a Haitian problem.  It’s an American tragedy.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”