If I wasn’t too busy focusing on the Business Tax Receipt request by the North Miami Beach strip club Black Diamonds at the last City Council meeting on December 17, 2013, I would have paid more attention to an earlier presentation listed on the Agenda. Councilman Anthony DeFillipo recognized Dr. Sylvester Braithwaite, the founder of the Women’s and Teen’s Health Center for its donation of $1,500.00 to the Leisure Services Teens Group. You can view the presentation at hour 00:09:44 of the meeting’s video.
Dr. Braithwaite introduced his Team, stressing that there is no “I” in Team.
What he didn’t mention was that there is an “I” in Vagina, which is probably the only word Dr. Braithwaite and Team will be remembered for during this very memorable seventeen minute performance.
After Leisure Services Director Paulette Murphy was called up to accept the ceremonial check, Councilwoman Phyllis Smith wanted the audience to know that the Women’s and Teen’s Health Center also performs cosmetic surgery and facelifts.
What Phyllis probably didn’t expect at that moment (or she might not have brought it up) was that Dr. Braithwaite’s newest member of the Team, Dr. Lans from New York does “specialized surgery for women,” including “fixing things down below.”
And, in case that wasn’t WTMI (Way Too Much Information) enough for you, Dr. Braithwaite then passed the microphone to Dr. Lans who proudly exclaimed that he offers “all the services possible for women” from birth to urinary incontinence. He also announced a new division where they do “what we call beautification, like they can have vaginal rejuvenation. It’s a service that we have to make the women much better and more beautiful. We offer all those services. We’re here to serve the community.” Dr. Lans wants you to know that “we do treat the patient, but we also treat the community as a whole.”
Ladies, just think about the unique thrill of being able to treat your entire community and have your vagina rejuvenated at the same time! I’m thinking this has got to be the experience of a lifetime.
Seriously, I had no idea that one can rejuvenate one’s vajayjay. Did you? I wonder if Dr. Lans performs revirgination, too!
Okay, I’m going to stop LMAO long enough to remind my readers who may not be aware that it’s impolite to discuss your private parts in public. Especially in mixed company!
Miss Manners would be horrified. I also imagine she’d be even more horrified to know that such discussion took place very publicly at a City Council meeting. She’d be positively apoplectic to find out such discourse was broadcast over the airwaves on live television and recorded for all posterity among the public records.
It was only fitting, I suppose, that this presentation occurred during the same Council meeting as the discussion about strippers catering to and providing entertainment for Frantz Pierre’s “Haitian community.”
You’ll be happy to know that I am now fully recovered from my fit of hysterical laughter. I have also composed myself sufficiently to gently admonish the City Council to consider rating future meetings, as they do for motion pictures, well in advance so that audiences will know what to expect. This particularly risque session should have garnered a PG-13.
The only thing missing from this Council meeting was Code Pink-er in her vagina costume.
All courtesy of Crazy Town, NMB.
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
Oh, twaddle. This is “Much Ado About Nothing”. Of course you know that “nothing” was a slang term for vagina in Elizabethan England?
I did not know that. They may be uncouth, but never let it be said that that my readers don’t provide a wealth of useless information. Thank you for a much needed education.
Don’t you mean, “Oh, twattle?” 🙂
Oh dont get me started on yet another plastic surgery to feed society’s misogyny (and women’s self-hate)… but hey goes well with the stripclubs !! and gosh we are all very lucky to live in the west to begin with! To all the girls out there, you are beautiful as is. Shame on a center also catering to teens to even be allowed to push any kind of cosmetic surgery. Actually, it is not a joke to require censoring info like that at a council meeting, especially with young girls getting all kind of messages in society, at least they should be able to rely on their civic leaders to exercise some kind of maturity. (And no again I am not a prude and yes I have a sense of humor, just between the theme of this article and the stripclub, there is a strong connection in values that deserves mentioning. Happy H’s!)
Misogyny? Women’s self-hate? That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? I also used to knock plastic surgery ’til I needed it. Maybe you’re still a spring chicken, but for women of a certain age (and some men, too!), the mirror eventually becomes The Enemy. The only thing worse than a twattle is a wattle. Just saying.
Sorry if you think I am too serious. Ive just lived too long to see the media etc messages coming out to young people and yes women and gotls and seen sad affects. and There is a clear correlation between the ethos of a stripvclub and in these kind of messages. Teens and young girls should at least be protected from this (yes self hate or if you prefer mom acre prance and no self love or esteem) messages that have no right to be done in meetings on our tax dollars. But then against people are porn addicted (where a lot of this addiction
comes from actually if you research it) so I don’t have that much hope! Happy holidays sorry I can’t joke about this not everything needs a joke to me — especially as older adults looking out for our young people.
I didn’t mean to make light of your entire comment. I totally agree with you that young girls and teens should not have to be inundated with the obsession to look good at any cost. They should be encouraged to love themselves as they are and be protected from messages telling them otherwise.
I was only speaking from an (older) adult’s point of view, that not all cosmetic surgery is evil. I just don’t think wanting to look your best (when the best years are in the rear view mirror) is necessarily misogyny or self-hate. I like to call it self-preservation.
Good points you mention, this is why you are the blogger — though I do envision a paradise where somehow we all “look beyond physical looks” I will admit that is hard in our society (especially in south florida!), and seems men have gotten on that train too …I want to mostly say happy holidays and please keep bloggin’ you are a local treasure with or without nip tuck!!
Auto correct those odd words should say “girls” and “acceptance “- please feel free to edit. Thanks.